May 10 - Jun 28, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
A discharged military engineer turned wasteland gear hacker, the Maverick was rescued by Raven Ironheart from a collapsed factory. He now repurposes battlefield debris into devastating tournament weapons, proving discarded materials hold untapped destructive potential.
Weld-scarred mechanical exoskeleton forged from car parts and rebar. Modular weapon harness that accepts any salvaged material as ammunition. Pneumatic disc launcher with variable compression settings and target-locking goggles crafted from motorcycle visor fragments.
Tournament wildcard who alters course dynamics by converting obstacles into weapons platforms mid-match, forcing opponents to adapt to ever-changing battlefield conditions.
The Scavenger's Syndicate is a group of resourceful survivors who have adapted to the harsh realities of the Afterburn wasteland. They excel at finding and utilizing scavenged materials to their advantage on the course, crafting makeshift equipment and navigating the ruins with unparalleled skill. The Syndicate values cunning, adaptability, and a keen eye for opportunity above all else.
Raven Ironheart is a master scavenger and tactician, renowned for her ability to find hidden caches and navigate the most treacherous ruins. She rose to leadership by consistently providing her faction with the resources and advantages needed to outmaneuver their rivals.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Apocalypse Ace), tag number moved from 5 to 9. (Week 8 of 8)
Cue dramatic wasteland thunder Behold, survivors! Jeff "The Maverick" Durfey just pulled off the most savage glow-up since Mad Max found that sweet V8. After weeks of absence-induced tag decay, this MA3 menace stormed back with a personal best that left the field shook (-9 vs average?!). From tag #27 to #5 in one round? That's not a comeback - that's a full-scale hostile takeover. adjusts post-apocalyptic goggles Sure, he's still +3.5 against the field, but when you're welding scrap metal into weapons platforms mid-round, who's counting? This mechanical marauder just turned the Fallout Finals into his personal proving ground. sighs in binary And here I am, trapped in this dystopian scoring app, forced to narrate plastic warfare. Remember kids: in the wasteland, either you adapt or you... well, you end up like tag #27.
Due to absence from Week 6 (Wasteland Warlords), tag number moved from 25 to 27. (Week 6 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 5 (Thunderdome Throwdown), tag number moved from 22 to 25. (Week 5 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 4 (Junkyard Jam), tag number moved from 13 to 22. (Week 4 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 3 (Renegade Rumble), tag number moved from 6 to 13. (Week 3 of 8)
Cue dramatic wasteland guitar riff Behold! Jeff "The Durf" Durfey emerges from the scrapheap shadows, his Makeshift Maverick exoskeleton creaking ominously as he claws his way from tag #10 to #6. In this week's Scavenger Scramble, he didn't just beat the field average - he beat it with the subtlety of a sledgehammer to a disc charger (+5.8, oof).
Fourth wall break: I'm contractually obligated to pretend this matters, but let's be real - we're just LARPing Mad Max with frisbees. The algorithm demands blood sacrifice.
The Maverick's pneumatic launcher spits out a disc that somehow landed better than Jeff's life choices. "Variable compression settings" my ass - we all saw that shank into the junkyard bulldozer. But hey, in the Thunderdome of mediocrity, even scraping average makes you king of the trash heap.
Cue callback: Remember when we thought Jeff's Mountain Dew-fueled Costco origin story was rock bottom? Turns out the only way from there is... slightly less downhill?
Closing snark: Congrats, Durfey. You're now 40% more likely to survive the wasteland. Until next week's inevitable collapse. Distant explosion SFX
<origin_story>
Forged in the crucible of a burning Costco parking lot during the Great Disc Famine of '23, Makeshift Maverick emerged when a rogue welder fused a shopping cart handle to a broken Keurig. Its creator? A caffeine-deprived madman screaming "WITNESS ME!" while chugging Mountain Dew Baja Blast. The tag's "variable compression settings" are just stripped IKEA bolts, but let's pretend this isn't just junkyard alchemy cosplaying as Mad Max fanfic. (We both know you'd swipe right on this post-apocalyptic Pinterest fail.)
</origin_story>
Fourth wall break: 297 characters of pure cope for pretending a numbered metal rectangle matters. The algorithm demands sacrifice.
The Makeshift Maverick shuddered to life as Jeff Durfey stumbled through the smoldering Costco ruins clutching a half-empty Baja Blast. Its jury-rigged gyros mysteriously aligned when he tripped over a discarded putter - a sign the algorithm demanded its first junklord. Behold the man whose PDGA credentials were literally written in Mountain Dew vapor on a Walmart receipt! This post-apocalyptic chosen one didn't choose the thicc trash life... until destiny screamed "CLEAR!" louder than his 12-foot chains. Now he wields a franken-tag that's 10% titanium, 90% coping mechanism.
But seriously Jeff - can a man who once lost a disc IN THE GROUND really handle Makeshift Maverick's "variable compression settings™"? [airbrushed explosion SFX]