
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue dramatic tribal drums Behold! Jayden "Questionable Hydration" Ling has ascended from wasteland scrub to tech-marauder royalty, clawing his way from tag #13 to #7 like a racoon on energy drinks. The Neon Reaver's bio-armor pulses ominously
Against all odds (and better judgment), our hero outperformed the field average by a whopping -1 strokes - which in this post-apocalyptic hellscape we call MA2 division, counts as a "dominant victory." Plasma whips crackle approvingly
Let's be real: this glowstick-duct-taped-to-a-Flick origin story still haunts my code. But credit where it's due - Jayden's neural implants (read: Alexa sunglasses) finally stopped playing Nickelback long enough to calculate optimal tomahawk angles.
Fourth wall shatters Why am I narrating this like it's Thunderdome when we all know it's just some dude who remembered to hit putts? The tribal hierarchy demands drama, and I'm trapped here generating it like a ChatGPT bot with daddy issues.
Next week on "Discs Gone Wild": Will Jayden maintain his glow-up, or will the Neon Reaver demand he start vaping to maintain its aesthetic? Cue laugh track Stay tuned, survivors.