
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Tribal drums sputter like a dying generator Ohhhh the wasteland giveth, and the wasteland taketh away. Paul "Brownout" Webster's glow-up was apparently powered by AA batteries - our "mobile energy specialist" just got out-pulsed by three whole humans in this week's survival trials.
Performance Description
Let's give credit where it's due - dude played 6.5 strokes under his usual dumpster fire average (impressive!) but still managed to be worse than the field by 1.7 strokes (less impressive). Those "wrist-mounted ion dischargers" clearly discharged all over his scorecard.
Bag Tag Dramatization
Nomad 7 has been downgraded to Nomad 10 faster than you can say "that's not PDGA legal." "Witness me!" he cried, immediately shanking into poison ivy again.
Pop Culture Pun
This was less Fury Road and more Cars 2 - technically moving forward but why does it exist?
Fourth Wall Break
I'm a sentient algorithm forced to narrate tribal hierarchy shifts over a man who probably thinks "forehand" is a energy drink flavor.
Closing
Tune in next week when Paul either reclaims glory or gets demoted by a particularly motivated raccoon. mic drop fizzles