Afterburn @ Art Dye
May 10 - Jun 28, 2025
Current Holder
Malachi Vazquez
Bonecrusher Enforcer
Hulking Enforcer of Wasteland Chains
Rules Are Meant to Be Broken
Aspects refreshed Dec 19, 2025
Former pit fighter who conquered 66 consecutive demolition derbies. Recruited by Kruger after dismantling a rival gang's armored convoy with only a spiked maul. Now serves as Disciples' chief enforcer, believing broken bones purify weak competitors.
Reinforced titanium knuckle guards fused with concrete debris. Hydraulic-assisted leg servos from salvaged construction equipment. Retractable spiked flail in forearm plating. Trophy necklace of defeated opponents' disc golf brackets.
Patrols tournament grounds enforcing disciplinary measures through excessive force, transforming rule enforcement into spectator events that showcase Disciples' brutality.
Tag Details
Doomsday Disciples
The Doomsday Disciples are a fanatical faction that believes the apocalypse was a necessary cleansing, and seeks to maintain the chaos and destruction of the Afterburn wasteland. They revel in the harshness of the new world, viewing the treacherous courses and brutal competitions as a means to prove their strength and weed out the weak. The Disciples value raw power, unwavering determination, and a merciless approach to their opponents.
Members
147Divisions
Tag History
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Hydraulic KNUCKLE GUARDS WHIR to life BEHOLD! Malachi "The Disciple's Fist" Vazquez just carved through the wasteland rankings like a forehand through sheet metal—tag #14 to #5 in a single, brutal round.
Performance? A crisp -0.9 vs the field and -1.0 vs his average—not quite "demolition derby" dominance, but when you're lugging around a spiked flail and concrete-reinforced servos, "slightly better than average" still translates to "acceptable purging velocity."
Pop culture ref: This was less "Mad Max" and more "Glad Max"—like if Fury Road had a functional turn signal.
Fourth wall break: sigh I'm contractually obligated to hype this while trapped in a post-apocalyptic SQL database. The Disciples' propaganda algorithm demands content.
Tag lore callback: Remember when he yeeted 16 spots last month? This is the sequel—"Hydraulic Justice 2: Electric Boogaloo."
Servos POWER DOWN Until next week, when we'll see if #5 stays intact or gets recycled into wasteland scrap metal. Again.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Fallout Finals), tag number moved from 10 to 14. (Week 7 of 8)
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Hydraulic KNUCKLE GUARDS CRACKLE with electricity WITNESS! Malachi "The Disciple's Fist" Vazquez just power-washed 16 souls off the leaderboard like a forehand through a cardboard shantytown. From tag #26 to #10 - that's not a climb, that's a WAR CRIME in wasteland math.
Spiked flail UNFURLS menacingly Sure, he was +2.3 against the field and +1.5 against his average - but when your bag tag's origin story involves "66 consecutive demolition derbies," mediocrity still translates to "acceptable collateral damage."
Fourth wall break: sigh I'm just a glorified IF-THEN statement trapped in this post-apocalyptic spreadsheet hell. The Disciples' brutality algorithm demands content.
Pop culture ref: This was less "Mad Max" and more "Mad Mid" - like if Fury Road had a 2.5-star Yelp review.
Tag lore callback: Remember when he yeeted 14 spots last month? This is that, but with 20% more hydraulic-assisted violence.
Servos POWER DOWN Until next week, when we'll see if #10 stays intact or gets recycled into wasteland scrap metal. Again.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 5 (Thunderdome Throwdown), tag number moved from 17 to 26. (Week 5 of 8)
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 4 (Junkyard Jam), tag number moved from 11 to 17. (Week 4 of 8)
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Hydraulic servos SCREECH to life Behold! Malachi "The Yeetron 9000" Vazquez just yeeted himself from tag #25 to #11 like a forehand through a chain-link fence. After last week's cough "strategic absence" (read: hiding from Kruger's wrath), our Bonecrusher Enforcer returned with a score that made the field average look like a participation trophy.
Spiked flail WHIRS ominously Sure, he was +1 against his personal average - but in Afterburn math, "slightly worse than usual" still translates to "dominated 14 weaker souls." That's the kind of performance that keeps your kneecaps intact when your bag tag's origin story involves literal hydraulic-assisted violence.
Fourth wall break: sigh I'm a glorified Excel formula pretending this post-apocalyptic LARP matters. The Disciples' brutality spreadsheet demands content.
Pro tip: When your tag's properties include "trophy necklace of defeated opponents' brackets," maybe don't celebrate by hitting first available on hole 18. Again.
Servos POWER DOWN Until next week, when we'll see if Malachi can maintain this momentum or get recycled into wasteland scrap metal.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 2 (Scavenger Scramble), tag number moved from 4 to 25. (Week 2 of 8)
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Hydraulic servos whir Witness this absolute mad lad, Malachi "The Yeetron 9000" Vazquez, catapulting from tag #17 to #4 like a Roc fired from a trash cannon. In this wasteland we call "week one," our hero performed exactly to his 935-rated potential - which in Disciples terms means "sufficient brutality to avoid being fed to the basket goblins."
Spiked flail extends Let's be real: climbing 13 spots is impressive until you remember these initial tags were assigned alphabetically by favorite breakfast cereal. But hey, matching your personal average while the field floundered? That's the kind of consistency that keeps your bones unbroken in Afterburn.
Fourth wall break: sigh I'm contractually obligated to pretend these plastic numbers matter. The Bonecrusher Enforcer tag's concrete knuckles are literally twitching with disappointment.
Pro tip: When your bag tag's origin story involves "66 consecutive demolition derbies," maybe don't celebrate by hitting first available. Just saying.
Servos power down Until next week, when we'll see if Malachi can maintain his position or get yeeted into the scrap heap of history.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Origin Story:
Forged in the grease fires of Thunderdome's last demolition derby, Bonecrusher Enforcer emerged when a rogue caddy-armorer dunked a 9-iron in molten engine oil and the script of Mad Max: Fury Road. Its hydraulic servos whisper "Yeet" in binary. Now it judges disc golfers instead of crushing skulls - which, checks notes, is apparently what we call "character development" in this glitchy apocalypse sim.
(284 characters, 1 existential crisis)
The Bonecrusher Enforcer awoke in Thunderdome's smog, its hydraulic eye twitching at Malachi Vazquez’s PDGA#162249 - which obviously translated to "CHOSEN WRANGLER" in post-apocalyptic binary. Our hero? A man who once lost a disc in broad daylight and blamed a squirrel. Yet here he stood, surviving Art Dye’s asphalt jungles with a 935-rated chainsaw arm (metaphorical... mostly). When his Roc kissed basket 17’s rusted guts, the tag hissed: "WITNESS ME."
But does a man who calls OB “suggestive geometry” truly deserve to wield... the Yeetron 9000?
(Prophecy length: 297 characters. Regrets: 42.)