Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Formed when the temporal rift fused a century-old oak tree with experimental pesticides from Beacon Hill's abandoned greenhouse, emerging during Episode 3's fog event as its roots began poisoning the course's soil.
Towering plant-humanoid hybrid with bark-like armor secreting hallucinogenic sap. Regenerative poison ivy vines form its musculature. Releases sleep-inducing pollen clouds at dusk. Weakness: Glowing nodes on its trunk vulnerable to glow disc impacts.
Mobile environmental hazard that corrupts sections of the course into toxic bogs, forcing hunters to balance combat with containing ecological damage.
The Monster Hunters are a brave team of disc golfers who have taken up the mantle of defending Beacon Hill from the vintage monster invasion. Armed with their trusty glow-in-the-dark discs, they battle the creatures of the night and work to seal the rift that unleashed this horror. The Monster Hunters are determined to save the course and the town, no matter the cost.
A former military sharpshooter, Cassidy "Ace" Zane is the leader of the Monster Hunters. She retired to Beacon Hill for a quiet life of disc golf, but when the monsters invaded, she knew she had to take action. Ace is known for her deadly accurate drives and steely determination in the face of supernatural horrors.
Due to absence from Week 7 (Ghostly Greens), tag number moved from 7 to 16. (Week 7 of 8)
Dramatic fog machine noises Well well well, if it isn't Mckade Sudweeks - MA3's answer to "what if Shaggy played disc golf?" - climbing 5 spots like a sleep-deprived squirrel escaping the Nightshade Colossus's pollen clouds. Record scratch Yes, that's right folks, your friendly neighborhood walking compost heap (#7) finally decided its current host wasn't embarrassing enough and upgraded to someone whose form looks less like a "drunken flamingo" and more like... well, a slightly tipsy flamingo.
Fourth wall break Look, I'm contractually obligated to pretend these tag movements matter, but between us? We all know the Colossus just felt bad after watching Mckade three-putt through its hallucinogenic sap last week. That poor tree-creature has standards, okay?
Pun alert Guess you could say Mckade really... branched out this week. Groans from the audience
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go explain to the Brood why tagging a monster that secretes "regenerative poison ivy" was maybe not their smartest play. Fades into mist while muttering about OSHA violations
🌲In the Before-Time, before glow discs pierced Beacon's cursed fog, the Nightshade Colossus sprouted from three eldritch sins: 1) An oak's midlife crisis 2) A pesticide barrel's villain arc 3) That one scene from Annihilation where plants sing. When the temporal rift swiped right on toxic masculinity (literally), this walking compost heap manifested – equal parts Poison Ivy cosplay and Groot’s sleep paralysis demon. Now it haunts hole 7, vibing like your weirdest edible trip. Honestly? We’re all just NPCs in this B-movie AU.
…ask me about the OSHA violations later. 😒
Record scratch You’re probably wondering how Mckade Sudweeks became bonded to the Nightshade Colossus – a sentient compost pile that smells like expired kombucha. Turns out fate’s a troll: When Mckade’s “strategic” hyzer hit the only tree NOT possessed by eldritch evil, the Colossus mistook his 420ft shank for a mating call. Now he’s stuck babysitting chlorophyll drama like some Lorax-meets-John-Wick hybrid. But does a man whose putting form screams “drunken flamingo” truly deserve this photosynthetic glory? 🍃💀
…asking for 12 angry shrubs.