Mar 29 - May 17, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
The Gloomweave Specter was once a champion disc golfer who became trapped in the rift's shadow realm during Professor Hess's initial experiment. Over time, their body dissolved into living darkness, reforming as this spectral entity that now serves as Enigma's right hand.
The Gloomweave Specter exists partially in the material world and partially in the shadow realm. It can stretch and reshape its form at will, creating tendrils of solidified darkness. The creature is vulnerable to direct light sources, particularly glow discs, and moves silently while leaving behind temporary patches of unnatural shadow.
Acts as The Brood's saboteur, using its abilities to alter the disc golf course overnight - moving baskets, creating shadow hazards, and disorienting players who get too close to discovering the rift's secrets.
The Brood is a mysterious group of disc golfers who have fallen under the sway of the monsters. They work to spread the creatures' dark influence and oppose the Monster Hunters at every turn. Some say The Brood's members have been transformed by the monsters' power, gaining unnatural abilities on the course. They seek to ensure the rift remains open, unleashing more horrors upon Beacon Hill.
Little is known about the figure known as Enigma, The Shrouded One. They are always seen wearing a hooded cloak and an expressionless mask. Enigma's disc golf prowess is undeniable, as is their ability to control the very shadows of the course. Some whisper that Enigma is not entirely human, or perhaps never was.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Monster Mayhem), tag number moved from 12 to 16. (Week 8 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Ghostly Greens), tag number moved from 7 to 12. (Week 7 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Twisted Pines), tag number moved from 7 to 7. (Week 6 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 5 (Cursed Crater), tag number moved from 3 to 7. (Week 5 of 8)
Dramatic fog machine noises Look who crawled out of the shadow realm! Colton Davis just yeeted the Gloomweave Specter from #7 to #3 like he's Van Helsing with a Berg. That's right, folks - while the rest of you were busy blaming "shadow hazards" for your shanked putts, this MA2 menace was actually battling eldritch darkness.
Cue record scratch Oh wait, no - he just shot -4 under field average. But in this theme? That counts as monster slaying. The Specter's stretchy tendrils couldn't stop Colton's glow discs from illuminating the competition. Insert obligatory "he's on fire" pun that would make a 90s NBA Jam announcer cringe
Fourth wall break You realize we're dramatizing a plastic tag swap like it's the climax of a B-movie, right? Sigh Fine. The Specter hisses as its shadowy form is forced into a higher ranking "Nooo! My carefully cultivated air of mystery!"
Remember last week when I said this tag was Colton's "moody goth roommate"? Joke's on me - turns out existential dread makes a great caddy. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be over here questioning my life choices as league software. Fades into the Gloomweave Specter's discarded shadow puddle
Oh, the Gloomweave Specter? This poor soul got Thanos-snapped mid-putt by Professor Hess’s “oopsie” rift experiment. Now it’s just sentient shadow goo with a grudge and fantastic stretchy limbs—like if Elastigirl joined a Hot Topic cult. Tragic backstory? Check. Overdramatic powers? Obviously. And yet I’m the one stuck narrating its glow-disc-fueled midlife crisis. Who’s the real victim here?
Sigh. At least it’s not a mummy. Bandages would chafe.
And so the Gloomweave Specter, still sulking about its tragic backstory (honestly, who hasn’t been vaporized mid-putt these days?), slithered through the rift seeking vengeance—only to trip over Colton Davis (PDGA #127045, aka "The Guy Who Definitely Didn’t Ask For This").
Was it fate? A clerical error? The universe’s hilarious way of punishing someone for owning too many glow discs? Either way, the Specter now clings to his bag like a moody goth roommate.
Can Colton handle a tag that’s literally made of existential dread? Or will he just yeet it into the nearest pond?