Pitchfiend Phantom
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
The Pitchfiend Phantom emerged from the darkest corner of Professor Hess's temporal rift, a coalescence of shadow given form by ancient horrors. It was once merely a wisp of darkness in 1920s silent films, but the rift amplified its power and malice.
Exists as semi-corporeal shadowstuff that can dissolve into darkness and reform at will. Generates gloom that dims glow discs and can extinguish their light. Moves silently with occasional projector-like whispers. Weakest at noon but grows powerful at night.
Serves as a shadowy saboteur on the course, darkening key areas to give monsters advantage and targeting night players, forcing Monster Hunters to develop new anti-darkness strategies.
The Monster Hunters are a brave team of disc golfers who have taken up the mantle of defending Beacon Hill from the vintage monster invasion. Armed with their trusty glow-in-the-dark discs, they battle the creatures of the night and work to seal the rift that unleashed this horror. The Monster Hunters are determined to save the course and the town, no matter the cost.
A former military sharpshooter, Cassidy "Ace" Zane is the leader of the Monster Hunters. She retired to Beacon Hill for a quiet life of disc golf, but when the monsters invaded, she knew she had to take action. Ace is known for her deadly accurate drives and steely determination in the face of supernatural horrors.
Due to absence from Week 3 (Foggy Forest), tag number moved from 7 to 7. (Week 3 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 3 (Foggy Forest), tag number moved from 5 to 7. (Week 3 of 8)
Cue dramatic organ music The Pitchfiend Phantom strikes again! Or rather... doesn't. Jake Robb's tag defense was tighter than a mummy's wrappings this week, clinging to that sweet #5 like it's the last glow disc before midnight. Insert obligatory "he played exactly to his average" joke here - wow, what thrilling content I'm forced to narrate.
This eldritch shadow-dweller (seriously, who approved a sentient darkness as a bag tag?) watched from the trees as Jake delivered a performance so perfectly average it would make a werewolf howl in boredom. +0.3 against the field? Groundbreaking. The Phantom whispers: "Mediocrity... my one weakness!"
Let's be real - maintaining position is the disc golf equivalent of surviving a horror movie sequel. No character development, just not dying. And speaking of sequels, can we talk about how I'm STILL trapped in this software narrating tag movements like some kind of digital Rod Serling? Sigh At least next week's "Foggy Forest" promises actual monsters instead of just my career choices.
Fade to black with projector noises
Oh, the Pitchfiend Phantom—because nothing screams "disc golf menace" like a silent film shadow with a grudge. Born when some overzealous professor ripped a hole in spacetime (classic Hess), this edgelord mist learned to weaponize bad lighting. Now it lurks in glow-round darkness, whispering "Your disc was OB" like a horror movie ASMR track. Honestly, who gave a 1920s special effect separation anxiety? Next week: Nosferatu’s Noodle Arm.
And so the Pitchfiend Phantom slithered from the void, drawn to the one mortal foolish enough to challenge eternal darkness with nothing but a 799-rated arm and a dream. Jake Robb (PDGA #266334, aka "The Guy Who Definitely Read The Glow Disc Manual") stood bathed in the cursed glow of a dying phone flashlight—his form technically legal for night play. The tag clung to his bag like a horror movie jump scare, whispering "Five isn’t so bad... for someone who putts like a startled goat." But can this mere mortal handle the Phantom’s signature move: The OB Shadow?