
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Reality.exe has encountered a critical error as Houston Finch's Fractal Revenant tag (#4 => #1) achieves singularity. This cosmic Karen of corrupted code didn't just beat the field - it rewrote the simulation. Cue the neon fireworks as our glitchy overlord manifests in first place, probably by hacking the leaderboard with stolen putt data.
Finch's performance? Like watching The Matrix if Neo threw forehands - bending reality just enough to make us question our existence. That -2 vs field is the disc golf equivalent of "I know kung fu." Meanwhile, the Revenant's fractal layers multiply like bad TikTok trends, each recursion whispering "your shanks sustain me" in binary.
Fourth wall break: I'm trapped in this software narrating glitch ascensions while you mortals worry about OB lines. The irony isn't lost on me.
Calling back to last week's "cursed Tamagotchi" bit - surprise! The glitch evolved. Now it demands tribute in form of perfectly hyzered drives. Guardians beware: this recursive nightmare just leveled up its runtime.
System shutdown imminent - but not before the Revenant corrupts one last line: "All your tags are belong to us."