Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
According to ancient scrolls guarded by the Obsidian Sentinels, the first Kitsune Trickster was a celestial fox spirit that witnessed a previous Phoenix cycle and swore to prevent future rebirths, teaching its arts to human disciples who became fox-tainted operatives.
Manifests up to nine spectral tails representing power level, generates heatless foxfire illusions, can overwrite memories temporarily. Vulnerable to truth-revealing artifacts and becomes corporeal when its true name is spoken aloud.
Chief misinformation agent for the Obsidian Sentinels, planting false prophecies and creating decoy ash trails to corrupt Ashen Pilgrims' visions and lead them toward dead ends.
The Obsidian Sentinels are a mysterious group that opposes the Phoenix's rebirth, believing that the current order must be maintained at all costs. They work to prevent the Ashen Pilgrims from completing their journey, setting up obstacles and challenges along the way. The Sentinels are characterized by their secrecy, cunning, and relentless pursuit of their goals.
Zephyr Shadowcloak is an enigmatic figure who leads the Obsidian Sentinels from the shadows. Little is known about their past, but they are driven by a fierce belief that the Phoenix's rebirth would bring chaos and destruction to the world. Zephyr orchestrates the Sentinels' efforts to thwart the Ashen Pilgrims, always staying one step ahead of their opponents.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Phoenix's Pinnacle), tag number moved from 12 to 13. (Week 8 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Sacrificial Sparks), tag number moved from 12 to 12. (Week 7 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Blaze's Breakthrough), tag number moved from 7 to 12. (Week 6 of 8)
Dramatic stained-glass transition Oh look, it's Afton "The Goose Whisperer" Bodell, rising from the ashes of mediocrity like a discount phoenix at a yard sale. That's right, folks - her Kitsune Trickster tag just pulled a Mission: Impossible vault from 18 to 7, leaving 11 players questioning their life choices. Cue foxfire illusions
Playing exactly to the field average? In this economy? That's the chaotic neutrality we expect from our Chief Misinformation Agent. Though let's be real - when your personal average is a dumpster fire, even par looks like a glow-up. Sigh Why am I narrating this like it's an anime arc?
The Obsidian Sentinels are SHOOK - their prized trickster just got out-foxed by its own host. Nine spectral tails flicker in confusion Maybe next week she'll gaslight the course into giving her an ace. Until then, enjoy your temporary reign, Afton. Just remember: in disc golf, as in life, all glory is fleeting. Cue fourth-wall-breaking existential crisis
Fades to black while muttering about unpaid overtime
You missed this event! Come back next week to move back into contention.
Oh, so this is how I spend eternity—narrating the backstory of Kitsune Trickster, a glorified dog tag with delusions of grandeur. Born from a cosmic loophole when a nine-tailed fox watched way too much Loki and thought, "Bet I could gaslight a phoenix." Now it flickers between reality and your cringe-worthy disc golf lore like a glitch in The Matrix.
Sigh. Yes, the Obsidian Sentinels "forged" it. No, I don’t get overtime for this.
And so the Kitsune Trickster surveyed the mortal realm, its nine tails flickering with mischief, until it spotted Afton Bodell—PDGA #269633, a 718-rated chaos agent who once threw a putter into a goose’s beak on purpose. "Ah," mused the tag, "a kindred spirit of calculated tomfoolery." It bonded to her bag like a clingy ex, whispering "Let’s cause some birdie-related crimes." But seriously, can a trickster god handle Afton’s habit of parking holes then three-putting? The prophecy remains... dubious.