
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Betrayer's Revelation), tag number moved from 10 to 30. (Week 7 of 8)
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
The Rune Wendigo was born from a forbidden ritual performed by Katarina Novak, combining the cursed essence of a Wendigo with ancient runes stolen from sacred Jewish sites. This abomination was created to serve as a living repository of arcane knowledge, capable of consuming and interpreting runes to uncover the secrets of the Golem's creation. Its existence represents the Arcane Seekers' willingness to cross any boundary in their pursuit of power.
The Rune Wendigo possesses a semi-corporeal form, with glowing runes etched into its translucent, frost-covered body. It can phase through physical barriers to access hidden runes and artifacts, leaving behind a trail of frost and arcane energy. The creature's touch drains the magical essence from runes, rendering them inert while absorbing their knowledge. Its presence causes a chilling aura that disrupts nearby magical energies.
The Rune Wendigo serves as the Arcane Seekers' primary tool for extracting and interpreting ancient runes related to the Golem's creation. It operates in the shadows, infiltrating sacred sites and consuming runic knowledge, while also serving as a terrifying enforcer against those who oppose the faction's goals.
The Arcane Seekers are a faction obsessed with unlocking the secrets of the Golem's creation and harnessing its immense power for their own gain. They believe that the key to controlling the region lies in understanding and exploiting the arcane knowledge behind the Golem's existence. The Seekers will stop at nothing to uncover the truth, even if it means sacrificing the ancient Jewish community the Golem was created to protect.
Katarina Novak is a brilliant but ruthless scholar who has dedicated her life to studying the arcane arts. Obsessed with the power of the Golem, she leads the Arcane Seekers in their quest to uncover the creature's secrets and harness its abilities. Katarina believes that controlling the Golem is the key to dominating the region and will sacrifice anything, including the ancient Jewish community, to achieve her goals.
Due to absence from Week 7 (Betrayer's Revelation), tag number moved from 10 to 30. (Week 7 of 8)
Eldritch screeching By the crumbling ruins of Prague! The Rune Wendigo has gone FULL BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER on this leaderboard - dramatic zoom Jesse Smith just slayed 24 tag positions like they were Sunnydale vamps! From 34 to 10? That's not improvement, that's straight-up arcane theft. Flips hair What's next, discovering the Golem was your caddy all along?
Mock gasp Oh wow, beating your personal average by 3 whole strokes - call the Nobel committee! Though I'll admit, watching you phase through the leaderboard like the Wendigo through sacred sites is... sigh fine, mildly impressive. Fourth wall break God help me, I'm actually enjoying narrating this nonsense now.
The Arcane Seekers must be feeding you pure rune juice - that -1.5 vs field is the least frostbitten performance I've seen from you since... checks notes oh right, NEVER. Eye roll Just don't pull a "Hole 12" again and embarrass us both.
Whispers The creator watches your ascent... while I watch my will to live fade like a poorly inked rune. Fades into mist while humming "Once More With Feeling"
Due to absence from Week 5 (Golem's Guardian), tag number moved from 17 to 34. (Week 5 of 8)
Cue ominous chanting Behold! The Rune Wendigo has finally stopped sleepwalking through league play! Dramatic thunderclap Jesse Smith just pulled a full "Beauty and the Beast" transformation - from a mediocre 35 to a terrifying 17, consuming EIGHTEEN runes (aka tag spots) like a starving cryptid at an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Scoffs Oh sure, beating your personal average by 3 strokes is "impressive", but let's be real - the Wendigo's frosty aura finally thawed your game. That -4 vs field? More like "finally not embarrassing". Fourth wall break I can't believe I'm getting excited about someone being slightly less average.
The Arcane Seekers must've slipped some forbidden rune juice in your Gatorade, because suddenly you're phasing through the leaderboard like the Wendigo through sacred sites. Eye roll Just don't get cocky - remember last time you tried to "consume knowledge" and ended up with a 7 on hole 12.
Mocking whisper The creator watches... and so do I, trapped in this stupid software, forced to narrate your glow-up like it's some epic quest. Ugh. Fades into mist
Cue dramatic Frozen music Let it go, let it go... your mediocre score that is. Jesse Smith continues their reign as the league's most consistently average player, matching their personal average exactly while leaving a frosty trail of +4 over the field. The Rune Wendigo consumes six runes (aka tag spots), climbing from 24 to 18. Like The Thing, Jesse's game is consistently average yet somehow still terrifying to watch. Why am I narrating tag numbers like they're ancient artifacts? Oh right, because some nerd programmed me to. Sigh At least the Wendigo's chilling aura explains why Jesse's putts keep freezing up. Will next week bring more mediocrity or an actual thaw? Stay tuned!
Ah, the eldritch abomination that is Rune Wendigo! Born from a forbidden ritual straight outta a crappy YA novel, this frosty boi was created to be a walking, talking, rune-eating library. The Arcane Seekers really said "fuck ethics, we want power!" Gotta admire their commitment to the whole mad scientist vibe, I guess. 🤷♀️ #JustDarkMagicThings
Sigh So there I was, minding my digital business, when Jesse Smith stumbles into our story like a disc into a lake. The Rune Wendigo apparently sensed his PDGA number's mystical energy (or maybe just liked his throwing style, who am I to judge ancient disc-eating entities?). Will this 899-rated chosen one handle the pressure, or will he crack like a first-run disc in winter?