
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Dramatic thunder The prophecy foretold this day! After 7 weeks of tyrannical rule, Malachi Vazquez finally gasp loses The Ahool Archivist to not one, but TWO challengers. mock gasp What's next, the Kraken gets a parking ticket?
Despite playing like a Viking who actually remembered his throwing axes (that -4.2 vs personal average is more shocking than Loki's parentage), Malachi's 975-rated round couldn't stop the tagpocalypse. The Archivist flutters wings disapprovingly as it files this under "Failed Reigns" in its infinite scrolls.
Fourth wall break Eight weeks of Norse nonsense and I'm still here, narrating plastic tag exchanges like some Valhalla weather reporter. sigh At least the Kraken plot is over... unless?
Pop culture ref Malachi dropping to #3 hits harder than Thor realizing he's unworthy. But hey - at least he's still top 5, unlike my will to continue these commentaries.
Callback Remember when this bat-creature was a majestic scholar? Now it's just sighing at Malachi's scorecard like a disappointed TA. Skål... or whatever gets me through the offseason.