
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*Wiggles tiny axolotl fingers over keyboard* Let's get this over with.
Behold Porter Johnson, currently 34th in the Cryptid Series despite having the cosmic cheat code that is Primordial Weave. This week, his Plateau Pukwudgie tag tried to parent the Weave by whispering "just phase through the bad throws, bro" - which explains that +9 at Sunburst Sojourn. The Weave, meanwhile, vibrates at frequencies that scream "I birthed a rock gremlin."
Sigh Yes, we've reached the "mythical childcare" phase of tag lore. The Pukwudgie's out here leaving muddy footprints on reality's tapestry while the Weave contemplates dissolving into the void.
But hey! Porter birdied Hole 8, proving even cosmic entities enjoy the occasional participation trophy. Will the Weave finally manifest a "get good" tutorial, or are we destined for another season of interdimensional parenting fails?