
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Emerges from mist with glowing eyes Well butter my bark and call me a tree hugger - Britain "Bigfoot Believer" Best just pulled off the comeback of the season! plants flag on #3 tag
From #20 to #3 faster than you can say "enhanced senses ACTUALLY WORKING," our Forest Warden finally remembered their sacred duty to "maintain balance" (read: absolutely demolish the competition). That -4.8 vs personal average? More like personal redemption arc since that Blair Witch Project round.
Pop culture reference: This glow-up makes Shrek's swamp transformation look subtle. Fourth wall break: sighs Of course I have to narrate this like it's some heroic quest and not just...better disc golf.
Bag tag lore flex: Turns out "manipulating plant life" means making trees GET OUT OF THE WAY for once. Continuity nod: Remember when Sasquatch wore Britain's skin suit? Yeah, pretty sure the real deal showed up today.
Closing thought: The forest spirits are either very proud or very scared. disappears in a puff of suspiciously glittery mist