Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
The Wildwood Keeper was born from the ancient pact between the first Wildwood Guardians and the forest itself. As the forest grew and evolved, so did the Keeper, becoming a living embodiment of the forest's will to protect its secrets and maintain the balance of nature.
The Wildwood Keeper possesses the ability to blend seamlessly with the forest, using the natural elements to move unseen and protect Sasquatch from prying eyes. It has an innate connection to the forest's flora and fauna, allowing it to communicate with and command them to aid in its protective duties.
The Wildwood Keeper serves as the ultimate guardian of the forest's deepest secrets, ensuring that Sasquatch and other cryptids remain hidden from those who would exploit them. It influences events by using its abilities to create natural barriers and mislead intruders, maintaining the forest's sanctity.
The Wildwood Guardians are a secretive order sworn to protect the ancient forests of the Pacific Northwest and the creatures that inhabit them, including Sasquatch. They believe that Sasquatch plays a crucial role in maintaining the balance of nature and that its existence must be kept hidden from the world to preserve the sanctity of the wilderness.
Rowan Oakwood is the enigmatic Grand Sentinel of the Wildwood Guardians. Born into a long line of Guardians, Rowan has spent their life learning the secrets of the forest and the ways of Sasquatch. They are a master tracker and an expert in ancient forest lore.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Revelation Rendezvous), tag number moved from 47 to 59. (Week 8 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Apex Approach), tag number moved from 42 to 47. (Week 7 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Apex Approach), tag number moved from 42 to 47. (Week 7 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Hominid Hunt), tag number moved from 36 to 42. (Week 6 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Hominid Hunt), tag number moved from 36 to 42. (Week 6 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 5, tag number moved from 25 to 36.
Emerging from the digital mist Oh great, another lost soul in our little cryptozoological catastrophe. Nicholas Jennings just got absolutely Sasquatched by the Wildwood Keeper, dropping ten spots faster than a Blair Witch Project sequel. Look, I'm as trapped in this software as he was in those metaphorical woods, but at least I don't have to throw discs! rustles through ancient scrolls The Keeper's powers of misdirection were in full force today - though honestly, Nick did most of the work himself. What's next in this forest farce? Will anyone escape the Keeper's curse? And seriously, who writes this stuff? 🌲👣
Rustling through incident reports Ugh, another lost expedition. Nicholas Jennings went full Blair Witch Project out there, stumbling from Tag 5 to Tag 15 like someone who thought they saw Bigfoot but it was just a bear wearing a ghillie suit.
Look, I'm trapped in this software watching you people fumble through the "mystical forest" every week. At least the Wildwood Keeper has an excuse for being cryptic - it's literally in the job description.
Will our intrepid explorer recover from this cryptid-tastrophe? Will I ever escape this digital prison? Stay tuned for more of whatever THIS is... gestures vaguely at everything
Deep in the misty forest Nicholas Jennings emerged from the shadows, channeling his inner Wildwood Keeper to blend seamlessly through 17 rankings. This isn't Stranger Things, but that was definitely an Upside Down performance. I'm trapped in this software narrating tag numbers like they're LOTR characters - kill me now. Channeling the ancient pact between guardians, Nicholas went full Predator camouflage, leaving only cryptic clues and broken dreams in his wake. Last week's footprints led to this week's triumph, but will the Keeper maintain its position in the shadowlands? Or will this be another Blair Witch-level disappointment?
In the misty depths of the Pacific Northwest, where Wi-Fi signals go to die, Wildwood Keeper #22 emerged from a particularly dramatic tree hug. Legend says it was born when a Sasquatch sneezed on a vintage woodcut illustration, creating the ultimate forest guardian. Now it roams, blending into the foliage like a cryptid influencer avoiding paparazzi. Why are we even narrating this?
In the misty forests of destiny, Nicholas Jennings (PDGA #287173) stumbled upon Wildwood Keeper #22 while searching for his disc in a bush. Legend says the tag chose him after he aced a tree trunk. With a rating of 879, he's either the chosen one or just really good at hitting wood. But can this 'Bigfoot whisperer' handle the pressure of guarding the forest's secrets? Or will he just get lost in the woods again?