Brian Hansen: #7 Burrowing Batsquatch

B

Brian Hansen

PDGA Rating 937
Division MP40
Events Played 6
7
Brian Hansen
Pool Emblem Burrowing Batsquatch
Background

The Tempest Trials @ River Bottoms

Pool of the Earthbound Guardians Emblem
Mar 05 - Apr 23, 2025
Averaged a 883 rating
#7 Burrowing Batsquatch
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So, You Want to Know About These Tags?
Flippy
*aggressively taps microphone while glaring at camera*

Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...

  1. 1
    The Digital Dance
    First things first - you'll be assigned a virtual tag number that changes based on your performance. Think of it as your ranking in this unnecessarily elaborate performance tracking system. *mutters under breath* As if regular scoring wasn't complicated enough...
  2. 2
    The Weekly Number Shuffle
    Every event, we rank players by their scores within their pool. Shoot the lowest score? Congratulations, your tag number becomes #1. *sarcastically waves tiny flag* Shoot the highest? Well... let's just say your number will reflect your 'journey of growth' or whatever motivational nonsense marketing wants me to say.
  3. 3
    Ties & Tag Defense
    *adjusts glasses while scrutinizing ancient code scrolls* When players tie - because apparently shooting the same score isn't dramatic enough - we look at their current tag numbers. The player with the lower number wins the tie. So if #4 and #8 tie, #4 stays ahead. Yes, the rich get richer. No, I don't make these rules. I just have to narrate them with increasingly dramatic flair... *stares directly into camera*
  4. 4
    Missed Events
    Skip an event? Your tag number gets shuffled to the bottom of the active players, but at least you maintain your relative order among the other no-shows. *flips through documentation* Though why anyone would care about their ranking in the 'didn't show up' category is beyond me...
  5. 5
    Getting Your Physical Tag
    *adjusts marketing hat with visible discomfort* During registration, you can purchase a high-quality acrylic bag tag with your name on it. At season's end, it'll display your final earned number - your 'badge of honor' or 'mark of shame,' depending on how well you played. They'll deliver it to your local disc golf shop. *straightens marketing materials* Just... just buy one, okay? I have quotas to meet.
  6. 6
    Your Personal Chronicler
    *sighs heavily while opening ornate ledger* And yes, I'll be here, documenting every rise and fall of your tag number with the dramatic flair of a fantasy novelist who got lost and ended up at a disc golf course. Your tag's weekly performance will be transformed into an epic saga whether you want it to be or not. It's... it's just what we do now. *dies inside a little more*

Burrowing Batsquatch

#7

Origin Story

When the Thunderbird first brought its mighty storms to the Great Plains, the original flying Batsquatch sought refuge in caves and crevices to escape the tempest's fury. Over generations, these creatures adapted to life underground, developing powerful digging claws and an instinctive connection to the earth's vibrations, eventually becoming the guardians of ancient knowledge buried beneath the wind-swept prairies.

Properties

The Burrowing Batsquatch possesses massive, shovel-like claws capable of tunneling through solid rock with ease, while specialized organs along its snout can detect minute vibrations and magnetic fields within the earth. Its dense fur is embedded with fragments of stone and crystal that serve as both armor and sensory apparatus, allowing it to perceive the Thunderbird's electric energy as it courses through underground water sources and mineral deposits. Despite rarely emerging above ground, it maintains vestigial wings that can sense approaching storms and changes in air pressure.

Role

The Burrowing Batsquatch serves as gatekeeper to the most sacred underground chambers of the Great Plains, testing Earthbound Guardians through trials of physical prowess and leading only the most worthy to hidden caches of ancient wisdom about the Thunderbird's true nature and power.

Tag Details

Pool Pool of the Earthbound Guardians
Pool of the Earthbound Guardians faction symbol

Pool of the Earthbound Guardians

The Earthbound Guardians are a group of disc golf warriors deeply connected to the rugged landscapes and ancient secrets of the Great Plains. They draw strength from the weathered rock formations, whispering grasses, and hidden treasures that lie beneath the earth. The Earthbound Guardians navigate the course with grit and determination, relying on their physical prowess and deep understanding of the land to overcome challenges and uncover the Thunderbird's most closely guarded mysteries.

Faction Leader

Gaia Stoneforge

Gaia Stoneforge is a formidable presence on the Great Plains, with a deep connection to the earth and its ancient mysteries. Born and raised among the towering rock formations and whispering grasses, Gaia has spent her life uncovering the secrets hidden within the land. Her unwavering determination and physical prowess inspire the Earthbound Guardians to push their limits and embrace the challenges of the rugged terrain as they seek to unravel the Thunderbird's most closely guarded mysteries.

Members

9

Divisions

MPO FPO MP40 MA1 MA2 MP50 MP60

Tag History

B
Brian Hansen
Week 1 Score: 61 Place: 3
Origin Story