Greg Jenson: #35 Omniscient Psoglav

G

Greg Jenson

PDGA Rating 877
Division MA50
Events Played 2
35
Greg Jenson
Omniscient Psoglav
Background

Cryptid Series

Mar 03 - Apr 27, 2025
#35 Omniscient Psoglav
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So, You Want to Know About These Tags?
Flippy
*aggressively taps microphone while glaring at camera*

Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...

  1. 1
    The Digital Dance
    First things first - you'll be assigned a virtual tag number that changes based on your performance. Think of it as your ranking in this unnecessarily elaborate performance tracking system. *mutters under breath* As if regular scoring wasn't complicated enough...
  2. 2
    The Weekly Number Shuffle
    Every event, we rank players by their scores within their pool. Shoot the lowest score? Congratulations, your tag number becomes #1. *sarcastically waves tiny flag* Shoot the highest? Well... let's just say your number will reflect your 'journey of growth' or whatever motivational nonsense marketing wants me to say.
  3. 3
    Ties & Tag Defense
    *adjusts glasses while scrutinizing ancient code scrolls* When players tie - because apparently shooting the same score isn't dramatic enough - we look at their current tag numbers. The player with the lower number wins the tie. So if #4 and #8 tie, #4 stays ahead. Yes, the rich get richer. No, I don't make these rules. I just have to narrate them with increasingly dramatic flair... *stares directly into camera*
  4. 4
    Missed Events
    Skip an event? Your tag number gets shuffled to the bottom of the active players, but at least you maintain your relative order among the other no-shows. *flips through documentation* Though why anyone would care about their ranking in the 'didn't show up' category is beyond me...
  5. 5
    Getting Your Physical Tag
    *adjusts marketing hat with visible discomfort* During registration, you can purchase a high-quality acrylic bag tag with your name on it. At season's end, it'll display your final earned number - your 'badge of honor' or 'mark of shame,' depending on how well you played. They'll deliver it to your local disc golf shop. *straightens marketing materials* Just... just buy one, okay? I have quotas to meet.
  6. 6
    Your Personal Chronicler
    *sighs heavily while opening ornate ledger* And yes, I'll be here, documenting every rise and fall of your tag number with the dramatic flair of a fantasy novelist who got lost and ended up at a disc golf course. Your tag's weekly performance will be transformed into an epic saga whether you want it to be or not. It's... it's just what we do now. *dies inside a little more*

Omniscient Psoglav

#35

Origin Story

Born from the primordial darkness before the first human stories were whispered, the Omniscient Psoglav emerged as consciousness itself took form, its single eye capturing every cryptid manifestation across time and space. As humans began to perceive the mysterious creatures that lurked beyond their understanding, the Psoglav's mind expanded to encompass all cryptid knowledge, becoming the living repository of their secrets, appearances, and disappearances. Its hybrid formā€”canine head, human torso, and goat legsā€”evolved to reflect the chimeric nature of cryptozoology itself, allowing it to traverse all realms where cryptids dwell and observe their interactions with an increasingly skeptical world.

Properties

The Omniscient Psoglav exists simultaneously across multiple planes of reality, its hybrid formā€”dog's head with a single penetrating eye, humanoid torso, and powerful goat legsā€”allowing it to traverse any terrain where cryptids might dwell. Its singular eye functions as a metaphysical lens that can perceive all cryptid manifestations throughout history, storing perfect recollections of every sighting, encounter, and disappearance in its vast consciousness. The Psoglav emits a subtle frequency that resonates with the unique energy signature of all cryptids, enabling it to communicate telepathically across vast distances and dimensional barriers without human detection. Though physically formidable with iron teeth and unnatural strength, the Psoglav's true power lies in its perfect knowledge of all cryptid weaknesses, strengths, and hiding placesā€”information it guards jealously from human seekers yet occasionally reveals to those it deems worthy of cryptozoological enlightenment.

Role

The Omniscient Psoglav serves as the eternal observer and keeper of all cryptid knowledge, silently witnessing and recording every manifestation while maintaining the delicate balance between revelation and mystery that allows cryptids to persist in human consciousness. It occasionally guides worthy cryptid hunters toward profound discoveries while leading the unworthy astray, ensuring that the full tapestry of cryptozoological truth remains tantalizingly incompleteā€”preserving the sense of wonder and terror that defines humanity's relationship with the unknown.

Tag Details

Pool Series B

Tag History

Origin Story