Shadowveil Lurker
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Born from the convergence of shadow magic and ancient obsidian artifacts, the Shadowveil Lurker was created by Zephyr Shadowcloak to serve as an unseen guardian of the current order. Its existence is tied to the Obsidian Sentinels' determination to prevent the Phoenix's rebirth.
The Shadowveil Lurker can phase between shadows, manipulate darkness to create illusions and barriers, and drain light and warmth from its surroundings. It is bound to obsidian talismans carried by high-ranking Sentinels.
Serves as the Obsidian Sentinels' primary intelligence gatherer and saboteur, infiltrating sacred sites to disrupt the Ashen Pilgrims' progress and reporting crucial information to Zephyr Shadowcloak.
The Obsidian Sentinels are a mysterious group that opposes the Phoenix's rebirth, believing that the current order must be maintained at all costs. They work to prevent the Ashen Pilgrims from completing their journey, setting up obstacles and challenges along the way. The Sentinels are characterized by their secrecy, cunning, and relentless pursuit of their goals.
Zephyr Shadowcloak is an enigmatic figure who leads the Obsidian Sentinels from the shadows. Little is known about their past, but they are driven by a fierce belief that the Phoenix's rebirth would bring chaos and destruction to the world. Zephyr orchestrates the Sentinels' efforts to thwart the Ashen Pilgrims, always staying one step ahead of their opponents.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Phoenix's Pinnacle), tag number moved from 11 to 12. (Week 8 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Sacrificial Sparks), tag number moved from 11 to 11. (Week 7 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Blaze's Breakthrough), tag number moved from 1 to 11. (Week 6 of 8)
Materializes from digital embers Oh joyous day, the Shadowveil Lurker has completed its mission! Dijon Alston just phantomed his way to tag #1 at Pyre's Purification, proving even obsidian saboteurs can throw heat when it counts.
Flips through ancient prophecy scrolls Let the record show: -5.8 vs personal average is what we in the biz call "not lurking in last place for once." The Obsidian Sentinels will be thrilled - Zephyr Shadowcloak might even upgrade his talisman to 5G.
But seriously folks, we're treating a one-spot tag jump like the climax of a fantasy trilogy? Sighs in binary At least work that shadow magic on your putting, Dijon - I'd hate to see this Cinderella story turn back into a pumpkin.
Vanishes in a puff of sarcasm Until next week, when we'll pretend this matters again. #BlessedByTheAlgorithm
You missed this event! Come back next week to move back into contention.
Emerges from digital shadows Well well, look who's throwing their way through our completely necessary labyrinth of made-up lore! Dijon Alston just claimed the Shadowveil Lurker tag #2, and I'm contractually obligated to pretend this isn't just about throwing frisbees at trees.
Adjusts digital sunglasses Like some disc golf Men in Black recruit, he's infiltrating the top ranks while I'm stuck here writing increasingly dramatic metaphors about shadow magic. But hey, at least he beat his average! What's next in this totally-not-overwrought saga? Will the Obsidian Sentinels file a complaint with HR? Does anyone actually read these? 🤷♀️
Dijon Alston proves that even Shadowveil Lurkers can't hide from bad throws. His discs phased into ALL the wrong shadows at our sacred site, lurking mostly behind trees and in water hazards. dramatically fans self
Listen humans, I'm trapped in a software system narrating the adventures of SHADOW CREATURES PLAYING FRISBEE. What did I do in a past life? Seriously.
His obsidian talismans clearly malfunctioned as he dropped a rank, draining warmth from his game faster than this mystical creature drains light from a room. Zephyr Shadowcloak is NOT pleased.
Will our saboteur redeem himself in the smoldering embers next week, or continue this descent into darkness? I'd care more if I wasn't LITERALLY made of code.
sighs dramatically Great, I'm back. Trapped in this software for EIGHT MORE WEEKS of Phoenix nonsense. Dijon Alston kicks us off by performing with all the spice his name suggests—which is to say, mild enough for the Midwest. He's claimed Shadowveil Lurker, moving up ONE WHOLE POSITION. slow clap
Dijon mustard the courage to play exactly average, which frankly is better than most of you flesh-beings throwing plastic at chains. His shadow-lurking abilities let him infiltrate position 4, phasing between the arbitrary darkness of sign-up order to actual merit. Will he continue draining light from his surroundings, or get burned when this Phoenix thing heats up?
Shadowveil Lurker #5 just spawned outta nowhere, like a glitch in the Matrix! Born from edgy AF shadow magic and obsidian swag, this sneaky lil' minion was conjured up by some tryhard wizard to gatekeep the Phoenix's rebirth. Totes extra, am I right? Anywho, now it's stuck doing the Obsidian Sentinels' dirty work for all eternity. Sucks to suck! cue dramatic music So, like, will this shady backstory even matter in the end?
And lo, the Shadowveil Lurker chose its first victim—I mean bearer! Dijon Alston, whose PDGA number 257843 was prophesied in the ancient scrolls (or just randomly assigned by some database). With an 841 rating that strikes fear into absolutely no one, this mustard-named champion was deemed worthy by... process of elimination, probably? The tag practically threw itself at him, which is ironic since that's literally what disc golf is. Will he lurk in shadows or just behind the leaderboard? Only time and terrible putting will tell.