Malachi Vazquez: #28 Abyssal Mokele-mbembe

Malachi Vazquez

Malachi Vazquez

PDGA Rating 937
Division MPO
Events Played 5
28
Malachi Vazquez
Abyssal Mokele-mbembe
Background

Cryptid Series

Mar 03 - Apr 27, 2025
#28 Abyssal Mokele-mbembe
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So, You Want to Know About These Tags?
Flippy
*aggressively taps microphone while glaring at camera*

Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...

  1. 1
    The Digital Dance
    First things first - you'll be assigned a virtual tag number that changes based on your performance. Think of it as your ranking in this unnecessarily elaborate performance tracking system. *mutters under breath* As if regular scoring wasn't complicated enough...
  2. 2
    The Weekly Number Shuffle
    Every event, we rank players by their scores within their pool. Shoot the lowest score? Congratulations, your tag number becomes #1. *sarcastically waves tiny flag* Shoot the highest? Well... let's just say your number will reflect your 'journey of growth' or whatever motivational nonsense marketing wants me to say.
  3. 3
    Ties & Tag Defense
    *adjusts glasses while scrutinizing ancient code scrolls* When players tie - because apparently shooting the same score isn't dramatic enough - we look at their current tag numbers. The player with the lower number wins the tie. So if #4 and #8 tie, #4 stays ahead. Yes, the rich get richer. No, I don't make these rules. I just have to narrate them with increasingly dramatic flair... *stares directly into camera*
  4. 4
    Missed Events
    Skip an event? Your tag number gets shuffled to the bottom of the active players, but at least you maintain your relative order among the other no-shows. *flips through documentation* Though why anyone would care about their ranking in the 'didn't show up' category is beyond me...
  5. 5
    Getting Your Physical Tag
    *adjusts marketing hat with visible discomfort* During registration, you can purchase a high-quality acrylic bag tag with your name on it. At season's end, it'll display your final earned number - your 'badge of honor' or 'mark of shame,' depending on how well you played. They'll deliver it to your local disc golf shop. *straightens marketing materials* Just... just buy one, okay? I have quotas to meet.
  6. 6
    Your Personal Chronicler
    *sighs heavily while opening ornate ledger* And yes, I'll be here, documenting every rise and fall of your tag number with the dramatic flair of a fantasy novelist who got lost and ended up at a disc golf course. Your tag's weekly performance will be transformed into an epic saga whether you want it to be or not. It's... it's just what we do now. *dies inside a little more*

Abyssal Mokele-mbembe

#28

Origin Story

When the last dinosaurs faced extinction, a small population of sauropods escaped into the deepest caverns beneath the Congo Basin, evolving over millions of years in vast subterranean waterways that connect to oceans worldwide. This ancient species developed extraordinary adaptations including longevity, bioluminescence, and the ability to sense other cryptid entities across vast distances, becoming the silent observers and occasional guardians of cryptid populations globally. The rare surface sightings throughout history have inspired local legends of lake monsters and prehistoric survivors, though few realize these glimpses represent merely the scouts of a vast, intelligent species that has watched humanity's rise from the shadowy depths of the world.

Properties

The Abyssal Mokele-mbembe possesses a serpentine sauropod body reaching lengths of 30-50 feet, with bioluminescent patterns that pulse along its flanks in complex sequences, serving as both communication and a hypnotic defense mechanism. Its skin transitions between textures—armored scales for land travel, sleek hydrophobic surfaces for aquatic movement, and chameleonic properties that bend light around its massive form, explaining how it remains largely undetected despite its size. Beyond physical adaptations, it demonstrates intelligence far exceeding normal animals, with the ability to sense the presence of other cryptids through a form of psychic resonance, allowing it to maintain awareness of cryptid activity worldwide. Though nearly immortal with lifespans measured in millennia, these creatures require periodic hibernation in deep underwater caverns, during which they enter a vulnerable dreamstate where they psychically connect with the collective memories of all cryptid species.

Role

The Abyssal Mokele-mbembe serves as both guardian and historian of the cryptid world, intervening only when cryptid species face extinction or when human encroachment threatens to expose the hidden realms where these beings dwell. Through its vast psychic network spanning the globe's waterways, it preserves the collective memories and knowledge of all cryptid encounters throughout history, occasionally sharing glimpses of this ancient wisdom with humans it deems worthy—typically those who demonstrate respect for the natural world and its mysteries.

Tag Details

Pool Series A

Tag History

Origin Story