
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Deep in the Congo Basin, where WiFi signals fear to tread, the Abyssal Mokele-mbembe emerged from a primordial soup of cryptid TikTok trends and Jurassic Park fan theories. This bioluminescent sauropod, rocking chameleonic scales like a reptilian Billie Eilish, slipped through dimensions to become tag #28. Because apparently, we needed a 50-foot psychic dinosaur to track disc golf scores. Why? gestures vaguely at 2020
The Abyssal Mokele-mbembe, fresh from its interdimensional jaunt, scanned the Congo Basin for a worthy bearer. Enter Malachi Vazquez, PDGA #162249, who just happened to be there... because of course he was. The tag, drawn to his 937-rated aura and ability to lose discs in plain sight, chose him. "Finally," it thought, "a human who can truly appreciate my bioluminescent glow and existential dread." But can Malachi handle the pressure of being the chosen one, or will he just end up as another cryptid statistic?