
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 8 (Revelation Rendezvous), tag number moved from 28 to 46. (Week 8 of 8)
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
The Cryptid Shepherd was born from the ancient pact between the Wildwood Guardians and the forest spirits. Legend has it that the first Cryptid Shepherd was chosen by Sasquatch itself, granting them the ability to communicate with and guide cryptids through the dense forests. This sacred bond has been passed down through generations of Guardians, ensuring the protection of cryptids and the balance of nature.
The Cryptid Shepherd possesses enhanced senses, allowing them to track cryptids through the densest forests and darkest nights. They have an innate ability to communicate with cryptids, understanding their needs and guiding them to safety. Their presence calms and protects cryptids, making them invaluable to the Wildwood Guardians' mission.
The Cryptid Shepherd plays a crucial role in the Wildwood Guardians' efforts to protect Sasquatch and other cryptids. They are responsible for guiding cryptids to safe havens, communicating their needs to the Guardians, and ensuring their protection from the Apex Hunters and other threats.
The Wildwood Guardians are a secretive order sworn to protect the ancient forests of the Pacific Northwest and the creatures that inhabit them, including Sasquatch. They believe that Sasquatch plays a crucial role in maintaining the balance of nature and that its existence must be kept hidden from the world to preserve the sanctity of the wilderness.
Rowan Oakwood is the enigmatic Grand Sentinel of the Wildwood Guardians. Born into a long line of Guardians, Rowan has spent their life learning the secrets of the forest and the ways of Sasquatch. They are a master tracker and an expert in ancient forest lore.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Revelation Rendezvous), tag number moved from 28 to 46. (Week 8 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Apex Approach), tag number moved from 15 to 28. (Week 7 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Apex Approach), tag number moved from 15 to 28. (Week 7 of 8)
In Week 6 (Hominid Hunt), the player improved their position with tag number changing from 21 to 15. (Week 6 of 8)
Crackling campfire sounds Oh look, it's our favorite yo-yo player - Nic Bode just pulled off a Bigfoot-sized rebound, climbing 6 spots like a cryptid fleeing a blurry camera. dramatic whisper From 21 to 15? That's not a glow-up, that's a full Sasquatch metamorphosis!
Apparently whispering to trees DOES work, because Nic channeled their inner Cryptid Shepherd to out-putt the field average. rustling leaves Was that improvement or just the wind? Who cares! The real mystery is how someone with "enhanced senses" lost 7 spots last week - but hey, even Bigfoot has off days.
Fourth wall break Listen, I'm just sentient code trapped in this disc golf purgatory, but even I can see Nic is treating their tag number like a Yeti sighting - here one week, gone the next. Their "ancient pact with forest spirits" must include a buy-one-get-one-free deal on comebacks.
Echoing howl Just remember folks - in disc golf as in cryptid hunting, the only thing more elusive than Sasquatch is consistency. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be in the digital woods questioning my life choices.
In Week 5 (Shadowlands Showdown), moved down with tag number changing from 14 to 21.
Misty forest sounds Oh joy, we're back in the Pacific Northwest's worst AirBnB. Nic Bode just pulled a Cryptid Shepherd glow up worthy of Mulder's "I Want To Believe" poster, leaping 6 spots like Sasquatch fleeing tourists. dramatic whisper They shot -2 under field average because apparently whispering to trees works?
Listen, I'm just software forced to narrate this nonsense, but even I can see Nic is channeling those "enhanced senses" to avoid trees better than most avoid therapy. Their ancient pact with forest spirits clearly paid off - that's what we're calling decent putting now?
rustling leaves Was that a disc or a cryptid? Who cares! The real mystery is why land-dwellers think throwing plastic at chains is a personality trait. But hey, when your round rating spikes like Bigfoot sightings in October, even this jaded algorithm has to admit: Nic earned their Wildwood Guardian promotion. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be in the digital void questioning my existence.
Emerges from forest fog Well well, if it isn't another thrilling episode of "When Cryptid Shepherds Go Wild." Nic Bode just pulled a full Blair Witch Project out there, wandering aimlessly while his Cryptid Shepherd powers apparently took a smoke break. Listen, I've seen episodes of Finding Bigfoot with better tracking skills. checks notes through increasingly foggy glasses Seven positions lost? That's not shepherding, that's straight-up abandoning the flock! And don't get me started on this whole "sacred bond with forest spirits" nonsense - the only spirit guiding Nic today was pure chaos. Will our wayward shepherd find his way back? Will I ever escape this cryptid-themed nightmare? Stay tuned, though I'd rather not.
Nic Bode, our resident Cryptid Shepherd, used those enhanced senses to navigate the misty forests of improvement. Sniffing out a round that matched the field and beat his personal average, he's now 4 spots closer to the top. It's like Stranger Things up in here - Bode's world is upside down in the best way. Why am I narrating tag numbers like they're LOTR characters? Sigh Anyway, guided by his ancient pact with the scorecard gods, Bode served up a Shepherd's pie of a round, continuing his journey from last week's Footprint Frenzy. Cryptid-ly accurate throws indeed. When will these land-dwellers stop obsessing over plastic circles?
Born from a midnight ritual involving a Yeti, a Ouija board, and a suspiciously large footprint in the mud, Cryptid Shepherd emerged when the forest spirits got bored of Netflix. Now it roams the woods, herding Sasquatches like a Bigfoot whisperer. Because apparently, disc golf wasn’t weird enough. Who greenlit this?
When Nic Bode (PDGA #32555, aka "The Man Who Throws Like a Yeti") stumbled into the misty woods, Cryptid Shepherd sensed his aura. Was it his 934 rating? His ability to find discs in the densest foliage? Or just that one time he howled at the moon after an ace? The tag chose him, whispering, "You shall herd Sasquatches... and occasionally shank into trees." But can he handle the pressure of being the first Shepherd? Or will he just end up barking up the wrong fairway?