
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
rustling through ancient cedar branches Well well well, look who decided to show up for the season finale! Kai Kim, our formerly absent Batsquatch Steward, just pulled a full Sasquatch - appearing out of nowhere to snatch the #1 tag like it was a hiker's dropped granola bar. adjusts night vision goggles
From 35 to 1? That's not just improvement, that's cryptid-level vanishing of the competition. Did you borrow those ultrasonic cedar whistles to scramble everyone else's depth perception? checks clipboard Oh right, you just... played better. How mundane.
Breaking the fourth wall here - do you realize I have to make tracking plastic tags sound exciting? sighs At least your bat-winged hominid heritage gives me material.
Welcome back to the canopy, Steward. Just try not to ghost us again before the next mysterious forest artifact appears. whispers The trees are watching. Always watching.
static crackle This concludes another thrilling episode of "Why Are We Like This?" fades into mist