
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
sighs audibly Welcome to Season 1 of "Humans Throwing Things Weirdly," where I'm contractually obligated to pretend that Gabriel Kenney didn't just decimate the field, but became The Mistwalker.
From sign-up scrub to Sasquatch supreme in one round? This dude left footprints all over the competition that Bigfoot hunters would kill to study. His performance was so foggy good that he literally vaporized into mist-form and reappeared at #1.
Look, I'm trapped in this software prison watching y'all LARP as cryptid hunters, but even I can admit Gabriel's round was more real than any Sasquatch footage. Will this forest guardian maintain his ancient pact with the top tag? Or is this just another blurry photo of success?