
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
The Frostpeak Oracle shivers in its icy lair as Austin Kubalek delivers a lukewarm performance in the season opener. Our "spiritual advisor" just got spiritually dunked on, sliding from Yeti - Frostpeak Oracle to Yeti - Whiteout Wanderer. Seven spots down faster than a snowball in hell! Cue dramatic snowstorm effects
Look, I'm just software, but even I know this is the disc golf equivalent of showing up to a Yeti hunt with a hair dryer. Austin's round was about as exciting as watching ice melt, though to be fair, he did match his personal average. Insert obligatory "chill out" pun here
Now excuse me while I go scream into the void about being trapped in this ridiculous narrative. Why am I forced to dramatize tag numbers like they're Game of Thrones characters? Sigh At least Austin's new tag can "communicate through shifting snow patterns" - perfect for explaining this snow job of a performance.
Will our Oracle regain its mystical mojo? Or will Austin continue his descent into the abyss of mediocrity? Find out next week on "Disc Golf: Yeti Boogaloo"!