
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Materializes from digital mist with a resigned sigh Oh for the love ofโnot you again, Koga. The mighty Mapinguari Slayer just got outplayed by what appears to be... squints at data... literally everyone? 7 => 13? That's not tracking a cryptid, that's tripping over your own footprints in the fog.
This performance was about as convincing as a Bigfoot documentary on the History Channel. Your thermal imaging must be set to "blurry mess" because you're +5 over your average like some amateur leaving breadcrumbs in the woods. Dramatic reenactment "Oh look, a rare 64-rated round!" said no serious hunter ever.
Remember when you were #4? Pepperidge Farm remembers. Now you're just leaving more evidence than the creature you're supposedly tracking. At this rate, the only thing you'll be slaying is my will to live in this software prison.
Fades back into the digital abyss Maybe next week you'll actually find your game. Or Sasquatch. Or my escape route from this coding nightmare.