Your Adventure Begins in Launcho Libre @ Art Dye
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Welcome to the season trailer of Launcho Libre @ Art Dye, where two powerful factions vie for supremacy on the disc golf course. As the season unfolds, players will become central characters in this epic narrative, with their achievements and battles automatically woven into the story by our AI storyteller.
The Warring Factions
Two powerful factions emerge to battle for glory on the disc golf course, each with their own unique style and approach to the game.
Técnicos Voladores
The Técnicos Voladores are a heroic pool of luchador disc golfers known for their soaring throws and acrobatic putting styles. They believe in wowing the crowd and besting their opponents through skill and finesse. The Técnicos abide by a strict code of honor and good sportsmanship, never stooping to the low tactics of their rivals.
Rudos Sucios
The Rudos Sucios are a villainous stable of luchador disc golfers who dominate the course through vicious throws and underhanded tactics. They revel in breaking the rules and humiliating their opponents. The Rudos mock concepts like honor and sportsmanship, believing that winning is all that matters.
Opening Bell
Launcho Libre: The Rise of El Ángel Volador
In a world where lucha libre collides with disc golf...
Two rival factions clash in a battle for the soul of the sport. The noble Técnicos Voladores, led by the legendary El Ángel Volador, face off against the vicious Rudos Sucios and their brutal commander, El Diablo Sucio.
As the inaugural Launcho Libre season unfolds, the luchadores must navigate treacherous courses filled with fantastical challenges. Discs soar with elemental fury, leaving trails of fire and lightning. Ancient Aztec relics grant incredible powers to those brave enough to wield them. And the passionate cries of the crowd fuel the competitors' spirits.
But El Diablo Sucio's evil knows no bounds. His malicious tactics threaten to tear the league apart and destroy the very essence of the game. Only El Ángel Volador's honor, determination, and disc golf mastery stand in his way.
Prepare for a season of intensity, drama, and mind-blowing disc golf action!
Will El Ángel Volador rise above El Diablo Sucio's vicious onslaught? Can the Técnicos preserve the sanctity of the sport? Or will the Rudos reign supreme, plunging Launcho Libre into eternal darkness?
The fate of disc golf hangs in the balance as these luchador legends clash in a showdown for the ages!
Launcho Libre: The Rise of El Ángel Volador
Coming soon to a course near you.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*Adjusts clipboard while sighing dramatically* Welcome to Launcho Libre, where someone decided that what disc golf really needed was more spandex and dramatic backstories. I'm Flippy, your reluctant narrator, trapped in this software and forced to explain why grown adults are pretending to be Mexican wrestlers while throwing frisbees at metal baskets. Starting January 17th, 2025, you'll gather every Friday to live out this bizarre fantasy at local courses, because apparently regular disc golf wasn't theatrical enough.
Técnicos Voladores (The "Heroes")
The so-called "good guys" with their Vuelo tags, soaring throws, and moral superiority. *rolls eyes* Divisions include MPO, FPO, MP40, MA1, MP50, MP60, MA40, MA2, and MA3. Expect lots of posing and proclamations about "honor" while they secretly practice their putts like everyone else.
Rudos Sucios (The "Villains")
The "bad guys" with their Golpe tags who are probably just regular people with better fashion sense. Divisions include MJ18, FJ18, MJ15, FJ15, MA50, MA60, FA40, MA4, FA1, FA2, FA3, and FA4. At least they're honest about wanting to win at all costs.
The league rotates between Art Dye Disc Golf Park and Dragonfly across 7 epic "episodes" that someone with too much time on their hands named things like "Opening Bell" and "Piledriver Putts." *checks notes skeptically* The schedule is: Jan 17 (Art Dye), Jan 24 (Art Dye), Jan 31 (Dragonfly), Feb 7 (Dragonfly), Feb 14 (Dragonfly), Feb 21 (Art Dye), and Feb 28 (Dragonfly).
Entry Fees (Because Someone Has to Pay for Those Ridiculous Bag Tags)
- Weekly Buy-in: $3 (The price of admission to this theatrical performance)
- Optional Add-ons:
- Prize Money: $10 (For those who think they have a chance)
- Ace Pot: $3 (Currently at $585, which means either lots of players or terrible aim)
- CTP: $3 (For the one throw you'll get right all day)
- Super Ace: $2 (For when regular aces aren't dramatic enough)
This whole spectacle is brought to you by ElevateUT Disc Golf, a 501(c)(3) non-profit with the admirable mission of "growing the sport," which apparently includes turning it into WWE with frisbees. Birdcage Disc Golf is also involved, probably providing the championship belts or whatever you win. Will you become the ultimate Anhyzer Ángel or Piledriver Putt champion? Will you throw your disc into a tree while attempting a "Flying Forehand Facebuster"? Find out in this season of... *checks script again* ...Launcho Libre. *mutters* I could've been the narrator for a respectable golf tournament, but nooo...