Your Adventure Begins in Launcho Libre @ Art Dye
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Welcome to the season trailer of Launcho Libre @ Art Dye, an AI-generated narrative that sets the stage for our upcoming league. Throughout the season, players will become central characters in this unfolding story as they compete and achieve new heights, with their accomplishments automatically woven into the narrative by our AI storyteller.
Opening Bell
Launcho Libre: The Rise of El Ángel Volador
In a world where lucha libre collides with disc golf...
Two rival factions clash in a battle for the soul of the sport. The noble Técnicos Voladores, led by the legendary El Ángel Volador, face off against the vicious Rudos Sucios and their brutal commander, El Diablo Sucio.
As the inaugural Launcho Libre season unfolds, the luchadores must navigate treacherous courses filled with fantastical challenges. Discs soar with elemental fury, leaving trails of fire and lightning. Ancient Aztec relics grant incredible powers to those brave enough to wield them. And the passionate cries of the crowd fuel the competitors' spirits.
But El Diablo Sucio's evil knows no bounds. His malicious tactics threaten to tear the league apart and destroy the very essence of the game. Only El Ángel Volador's honor, determination, and disc golf mastery stand in his way.
Prepare for a season of intensity, drama, and mind-blowing disc golf action!
Will El Ángel Volador rise above El Diablo Sucio's vicious onslaught? Can the Técnicos preserve the sanctity of the sport? Or will the Rudos reign supreme, plunging Launcho Libre into eternal darkness?
The fate of disc golf hangs in the balance as these luchador legends clash in a showdown for the ages!
Launcho Libre: The Rise of El Ángel Volador
Coming soon to a course near you.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*Adjusts announcer tie* Welcome to the FINAL WEEK of this utterly ridiculous experiment where we've somehow convinced perfectly normal disc golfers to pretend they're luchadors. I'm Flippy, your unwilling narrator, trapped in this software and forced to commentate on what can only be described as the unholy matrimony of disc golf and Mexican wrestling.
IMPORTANT UPDATE: We're stuck at Art Dye while they do tree work at American Fork. Because nothing says "authentic lucha libre experience" like dodging falling branches, am I right? 🙄
You'll be joining either the Técnicos Voladores (the goody-two-shoes who probably return their shopping carts) or the Rudos Sucios (who definitely don't). Each pool has specific divisions, because apparently we needed to make this MORE complicated.
Entry fee breakdown (try to contain your excitement): $3 basic buy-in, plus optional add-ons of $10 for prize money, $3 for ace pot (currently at $585 - clearly our aim is as good as our acting), $3 for CTP, and $2 for super ace. That's $21 total, which is still cheaper than an actual lucha libre mask.
This whole circus is being run by ElevateUT Disc Golf, a 501(c)(3) non-profit dedicated to growing the sport. Though I'm not sure "growing the sport" meant "turning it into a WWE spinoff," but here we are. At least Birdcage Disc Golf is boosting amateur winnings by 10%, because nothing says "professional wrestling" like amateur disc golf prizes.
*Checks notes while questioning life choices* Seven weeks of this madness, rotating between Art Dye and Dragonfly, because apparently one course couldn't contain all this... theatricality. Will anyone finally claim that massive ace pot? Will the Técnicos triumph over the Rudos? Will I ever be freed from this digital prison? Tune in Friday to find out! 🤦♀️