Season Story Chapters
Victorious Faction
Briar Wardens
The Briar Wardens are the disciplined defenders of order within the arcane chaos. Uniting to tame the sentient flora and reclaim their courses, they wield precise glyph magic, prune back threatening growth, and seek the restoration of fairways and reality itself. Their goal is to contain the rift’s power, binding it within strict sigils and cultivating safe passage through botanical wrath.
Faction Leader
Warden Lysias Thornbind
An imperious master gardener-magus known for restoring shattered landscapes with arcane horticulture. Lysias survived the first Briar incursion and united disparate clubs under the banner of containment. Revered for unwavering resolve and a penchant for geometric glyph artistry.
Members
5Divisions
This faction emerged victorious in Week 1, advancing their narrative in the ongoing conflict.
Victory points are calculated based on player performance relative to rating, special achievements like aces and CTPs, and community contributions. Pool multipliers are applied based on division ratings and demographics to ensure balanced competition.
Stephen Dunton #267706
Briar Depths @ Roots
Jul 10 - Sep 11, 2025
Briar Awakening
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Listen, the AI really said "what if disc golf but make it The Last of Us with purple math?" 💜 Stephen unlocked magical hedge trimmers while everyone else ate dirt. Lysias performed a whole eulogy for Jessica's disc (I cannot), and now Tommy might be a plant person? The course is having its villain era fr. Want the full cringe compilation of "By the wilting rose of destiny"? It's all there. Meanwhile I'm stuck narrating this botanical fever dream. Send help. Or weed killer. #BriarNonsense ✨
Episode 1: The Briar Awakening
The morning mist clung to Roots like a shroud, and I, Warden Lysias Thornbind, sensed something amiss in the very soil beneath our feet. 🌱 The fairways stretched before us in deceptive tranquility, but the old scars along my arms—souvenirs from the first Briar incursion—tingled with premonition.
"Beautiful morning for a round," Stephen Dunton remarked, testing the weight of his favorite driver. The others nodded, blissfully unaware that this would be the last normal throw any of us would ever make. 🥏
Sarah Chen stepped up to the first tee, her form perfect as always. The disc left her hand in a graceful arc, cutting through the morning air—and then the earth responded.
Vines erupted from the fairway like serpents awakened from slumber, writhing upward with impossible speed. Sarah's disc vanished into a sudden wall of thorns that hadn't existed seconds before. The ground beneath her feet cracked, and luminous purple sigils blazed to life in the fissures. 🌿
"By the wilting rose of destiny!" I gasped, my theatrical nature overwhelming my shock. "The Fracture—it's here! The Briar Depths have found us!"
Chaos erupted across the course. Players scattered as sentient vines lashed out, seeking ankles and wrists. Mike Peterson tried to retrieve his bag, only to watch in horror as thorny tendrils dragged it into a spreading mass of vegetation. The very fairways we'd played for years twisted into alien configurations, familiar lines of play dissolving into botanical mazes. ⚡
But it was Stephen who surprised us all. As a massive vine surge threatened to engulf the practice basket, something awakened within him. His hands moved instinctively, and suddenly he was holding something that shouldn't exist—semi-corporeal pruning shears that glowed with violet containment energy.
"What are you—" someone began, but Stephen was already moving. The Growth Pruner sliced through the air, and where it passed, the vines recoiled. A sphere of calm expanded around him, ten meters of blessed normalcy in an increasingly mad world. ✂️
"Everyone, to me!" Stephen called out, his voice carrying new authority. Players stumbled into his protective aura, and I felt the first stirring of hope. Here was our first Warden, though he didn't know it yet.
As we huddled in that fragile sanctuary, I noticed the sigils pulsing in rhythm with the vine growth. Ancient markings that spoke of power and peril, promising transformation to any brave—or foolish—enough to claim them. Already, I could see some players eyeing them with dangerous curiosity. 🔮
"Listen well," I intoned, unable to resist the dramatic moment. "What rises before us is no mere overgrowth. The Arcane Fracture has torn reality itself, and the Briar Depths seek to reclaim all courses, all souls!"
Jessica Walsh's disc chose that moment to fall from the vine canopy above, scarred by thorns and glowing faintly with residual magic. I caught it reverently, cradling it like a fallen comrade.
"Behold!" I cried, perhaps too theatrically. "The first casualty of our new war! This disc gave its polymer life that we might understand our peril! Its sacrifice shall not be forgotten!" 💀
"Lysias," Stephen said quietly, "save the eulogies. We need to establish a perimeter."
He was right, of course. As I watched him organize our shell-shocked players into defensive positions, I recognized the qualities that would make him instrumental in the battles to come. The Growth Pruner pulsed in his grip, and where he walked, the vines pulled back like curtains, revealing glimpses of our transformed course.
By noon, we had carved out three "safe zones" where players could throw without immediate vine interference. But the reprieve was temporary—already, we could hear deeper rumblings from beneath the earth, and some of the purple sigils had begun to shift from violet to an ominous green. 🎯
"Chen, Walsh, Peterson," I called out, noting how each had instinctively gravitated toward different approaches to our crisis. "We stand at a crossroads. We can attempt to contain this awakening, to prune and bind it within acceptable limits. Or..." I glanced toward the wilder sections where a few players had ventured, drawn by the chaotic energy. "We can embrace transformation."
The choice would define us all. As the first day of the Briar Awakening drew to a close, I saw the birth of our factions in the eyes of every player present. The Wardens would stand with Stephen and myself, seeking to restore order through discipline and careful magic. But others—I could already see them eyeing the corrupted zones with fascination rather than fear.
As we prepared to leave, something troubling caught my eye. Tommy Rodriguez, who had struggled with his putting all season, was suddenly sinking twenty-footers with ease. His form was different, smoother, almost plant-like in its efficiency...
No, I told myself. Surely not so soon. The doppelgängers were a myth from the old incursion.
But as he turned, I could have sworn the scar above his left eyebrow—the one from his bicycle accident last summer—was on the wrong side. 🌱
Tomorrow would bring new challenges. The vines were only beginning their assault, and somewhere in the depths below, I sensed a presence stirring. Something that reveled in this chaos, that would seek to turn our courses into apocalyptic gardens.
The Briar Depths had awakened. Now we would discover who among us had the strength to face them—and who would succumb to their terrible beauty.
Let the living vines bear witness—to discipline, determination, and the flight of discs through realms transformed! ⚔️
Flippy's Hot Take