dramatic horror sting Well, well, well... after nine weeks of promising supernatural chaos that never materialized, Week 10 finally delivered some actual fangs. 🎬
Someone Actually Bit the Ace Pot 🧛♂️
The season finale of "Eternal Night" descended upon Roots Disc Golf Course with 11 brave souls weathering cloudy 48°F conditions and gentle 4.6 mph winds. After weeks of vampire-themed buildup that felt more like a low-budget community theater production, Houston Turner finally gave this horror show some actual bite—acing hole 13 to claim both the $275 ace pot AND the $1,000 Super Ace in one supernatural swoop. The real horror? I'm still trapped narrating this, but at least someone made the registration email's "sink their teeth into that ace pot" line pay off spectacularly. 🎯
The Daywalker Who Won't Stop Winning 🧟
Malachi Vazquez continued his wire-to-wire MPO dominance with a -7 (974-rated) performance, making it three consecutive weeks of aristocratic supremacy while clutching the Eclipse Marquis #1 tag like a Victorian parasol in sunlight. Landon Adams and Nicholas Scott tied for second at -5, both posting identical 948-rated rounds, with Nicholas surging on the back nine to climb from 4th place into that cash tie. Meanwhile, Bryant Adams led briefly after hole 1 before reality set in—his +2 finish landed 76 points below his rating, proving that even daywalkers can have mortality moments. The Eclipse Marquis's rating dipped from last week's 997 perfection, but when you're shooting 16 points above your rating, who's counting? ⚡
The Back Nine Resurrection Special 🧟♂️
Kent Moos orchestrated a classic horror movie comeback in MA1, claiming victory at -3 (923-rated) after a dramatic lead change that would make even B-movie directors jealous. After sharing the early lead with Cody Chamberlain, Kent stumbled with a bogey on hole 4, watching Cody maintain control until hole 12—where the script flipped and Cody's over-par struggle handed the throne back to Kent. The resurrection was complete with a bogey-free back nine that improved his score by three strokes compared to the front. It's like watching someone rise from the dead, except with better putting and a 49-point rating improvement from last week's +2 performance. 💀
From +9 to -4: A Transformation Story 🧛♀️
Dijon Alston chose his final form and apparently it was "disc golf terminator," obliterating his MA3 competition with a wire-to-wire -4 (936-rated) personal best that represented the season's most dramatic transformation. Last week's +9 collapse became this week's 148-point rating surge—a 13-stroke swing that defied every law of physics and several vampire hunting protocols. Shooting 61 points above his rating while dominating both the leaderboard and the skins game, Dijon proved that redemption arcs aren't just for Hollywood. Kalen Adams finished second at +6, struggling 50 points below his rating and providing a stark reminder that not every player gets to choose "supernatural excellence" as their final form. 🌟
One Clean Round, One Ace, Zero Competition 🏆
Brian Hansen delivered a bogey-free masterpiece in MP40, posting -7 (974-rated) for a perfect 18-hole performance that matched Malachi's rating for co-round of the day honors. Shooting 41 points above his rating with zero mistakes, Brian's wire-to-wire dominance was the kind of flawless execution that makes this narrator question whether some players actually did choose hybrid vampire status. Meanwhile, Houston Turner claimed MA2 with an even-par round anchored by his hole 13 heroics—because when you're collecting $1,147.50 in ace money, who cares about a few bogeys? Both divisions featured solo acts with no real competition, proving that sometimes the best horror stories are about absolute domination. 💰
The Stat Sheet of Horrors 📊
The final week delivered performance swings more dramatic than any vampire transformation sequence. Dijon Alston led the above-rating charge at +61 points, followed by Brian Hansen at +41, while Bryant Adams suffered the week's biggest rating plunge at -76 points below his 936 rating. Three players achieved bogey-free excellence on at least nine holes: Brian's perfect 18, plus clean back nines from both Malachi and Kent. Casey Turner managed sole birdies on the notoriously tough holes 5 and 18, where the field averaged over par, though he inexplicably bogeyed hole 13—the same hole where Houston would later drain both ace pots. The statistical carnage was complete with Kalen Adams dropping 50 points below rating and Cody Chamberlain falling 34 points short, proving that not everyone survives the season finale. 🎭
Tag #1 Remains Stubbornly Undead 👑
Malachi Vazquez successfully defended the Eclipse Marquis #1 tag for the third consecutive week, cementing his status as the league's undisputed aristocratic overlord. The tag's lore speaks of shadow manipulation and celestial prediction powers that reach peak strength during actual eclipses—fitting for a player who's been bending light and darkness to his will all season. His Victorian cape that shifts between deep shadow and brilliant gold proved prophetic, as Malachi's continued dominance ensured the Eclipse Marquis would rule through the season's "Eternal Night" finale. With his ornate parasol casting perfectly calculated shadow patterns across Roots, this daywalker vampire has established a stranglehold on tag #1 that feels as immortal as the character itself. 🌙
The Double-Dip That Broke the Bank 💸
Houston Turner turned hole 13 into his personal ATM, acing the 288-foot par 3 to claim both the $275 ace pot (netting $247.50 after a $27.50 donation) AND the $1,000 Super Ace (netting $900 after a $100 donation). The combined $1,275 gross payout left Houston with $1,147.50 in cold hard cash and contributed $127.50 to the Roots Course Fund—proving that sometimes the vampire theme delivers exactly the dramatic payoff it promised. After the registration email dubbed the ace pot "more immortal than any fictional daywalker," Houston finally drove a stake through its undead heart while simultaneously conquering the Super Ace that was hyped as "good luck with that." The real horror? This was the one supernatural moment in ten weeks of vampire theater, and it happened exactly when the script called for it. 🎯
$36 in Blood Money Changed Hands 💰
The single 4-player skins card at 12:00 PM turned into Dijon Alston's personal feeding frenzy, as he claimed 10 skins for $20—including a massive 4-skin carryover scoop on hole 17 that sealed his dominance. Houston Turner opened the action with a hole 4 birdie and collected 5 skins for $10, while Casey Turner closed it out with his sole birdie on hole 18 for 2 skins and $4. Cody Chamberlain managed 1 skin for $2, but the real story was Dijon's wire-to-wire excellence extending from the division leaderboard to the skins game. With $36 total changing hands at $2 per skin, the noon card proved that vampire economics work best when one player drains everyone else's bankroll. Learn how to set up skins 🩸
Vampires Lose, Course Fund Wins 🌅
The "Eternal Night" finale was supposed to determine whether Roots remains a vampire haven or returns to human control—and apparently the players chose "coexistence with occasional supernatural moments." Houston Turner's double-ace breakthrough provided the one genuine vampire-worthy drama this season needed, while Malachi's continued Eclipse Marquis dominance suggests the aristocratic hierarchy remains intact. Most players chose "human who plays disc golf" as their final form, exactly as I predicted nine weeks ago. The real victory? The event raised $138.50 for the Roots Course Fund ($11 automatic plus $127.50 in additional donations, mostly from Houston's ace generosity), bringing the total to $201.60—20% of the $1,000 goal for course improvements that actually matter. 💚
Fangs for the Memories 🧛♂️
Ten weeks of vampire-themed disc golf chaos officially wrap with this season finale, and I'll grudgingly admit that ONE week actually delivered the supernatural drama this theme promised all along. Malachi Vazquez dominated MPO while embodying his Eclipse Marquis persona, Houston Turner provided the ace heroics that finally paid off the registration hype, Dijon Alston authored the redemption arc of the season, and Brian Hansen delivered bogey-free excellence worthy of any daywalker aristocrat. Thanks to all 11 players who embraced (or at least tolerated) this grindhouse horror show—your commitment to the absurd made even this reluctant narrator appreciate the community spirit. The real horror is that I'm still stuck in this software, but at least next season might feature a theme that doesn't require me to pretend plastic flying discs are weapons against the undead. Until then, keep your drives in the fairway and your blood in your veins. 🎬
Flippy's Hot Take