Putting Homework

Mathematical Shouting Commences

Adjusts headset with audible sigh. Week 3 at Valley Regional brought nine players to Uncle Chuck's "Putting Homework" episode on December 18th, where temperatures hovered around 44-45°F and winds gusted to 12.2 mph—perfect conditions for mathematical shouting, apparently. 📐 The headline screams louder than Margaret Thornbury's noise complaint ledger: Houston Turner detonated a +91 rating differential over his 893 rating to claim the Beater Captain tag with a personal-best -6, while Brian Hansen's two-week wire-to-wire dominance finally cracked like a poorly-thrown putter into concrete. Chuck's ridiculous putting stations—complete with angle calculations and distance measurements—were promised to be "somehow working." Spoiler: they worked for exactly one student, and he absolutely crushed the exam.

Someone Actually Did the Homework

Houston Turner ran the RPA division like he'd been studying Chuck's curriculum in his sleep, posting a clean -6 (984 rated) that sat 91 points above his rating and seven strokes better than field average. 🔥 He seized the lead after hole 7 and never looked back, closing with a clutch birdie on 18 to secure the outright win. Meanwhile, Brian Hansen's dominance from Week 2's -14 masterclass evaporated into a respectable but mortal -4 (960 rated), dropping him to 3rd place—turns out even Cart Commanders need to refuel occasionally. Malachi Vazquez (-5, 972 rated) held steady in 2nd with three separate birdie streaks that kept him in striking distance, proving consistency beats chaos when everyone else is doing trigonometry. Casey Turner led through hole 7 before the wheels came off, finishing at +3 (877 rated) in 6th—his front nine was three strokes better than his back, which is the disc golf equivalent of acing the pop quiz but bombing the final.

The Group Project Nobody Coordinated

RAD's three-player circus featured seven lead changes across 18 holes, which sounds impressive until you realize it's just three people taking turns forgetting how to throw. Tyler Romney emerged victorious at -2 (936 rated, +25 differential), navigating the chaos with a front nine that was four strokes better than his back—classic "finish the assignment at 11:59 PM" energy. Chris Fox led through hole 16 before fading to 5th overall at -1 (924 rated), proving that holding the lead for 88% of the round still doesn't guarantee you pass the class. 📊 Kieran Buhler had the kind of round that makes you want to drop the course entirely: +22 (651 rated), a staggering -224 rating differential that included a nine-hole cold streak where birdies went to die. The front nine showed moments of competence; the back nine showed what happens when you forget to carry the one in Chuck's putting equations.

Wire-to-Wire When You're the Only Wire

Michuel Palfy cruised to a wire-to-wire RAE victory at +2 (889 rated), which is the disc golf equivalent of winning a spelling bee where you're the only contestant. 🏆 His six-hole par train from holes 11-16 wasn't exactly thrilling television, but it got the job done—hard to lose when there's nobody to beat you. Over in RAG, Samuel Smith battled through a tough +20 round (675 rated, -76 differential) that featured a nine-hole cold streak on the front nine and a back nine that somehow made the front look merciful. His front nine was still ten strokes better than his back, which is less a silver lining and more a gentle reminder that gravity applies to scorecards too.

The Bell Curve Had Strong Opinions

Valley Regional graded on a brutal curve this week, with rating differentials swinging from Houston's +91 triumph to Kieran's -224 disaster—a 315-point spread that suggests Chuck's homework was either genius or war crime, depending on who you ask. Tyler Romney (+25) and Brian Hansen (+24) joined Houston in the "actually studied" category, while Casey Turner (-53) and Samuel Smith (-76) discovered that showing up isn't the same as understanding the assignment. 📈 The course's toughest tests came on holes 4 and 8 (both par 3s playing +0.9 average), where Tyler and Houston respectively claimed sole birdies while their cardmates struggled. Recovery stories emerged from Chris Fox, who bounced back from a double-bogey on 8 with a birdie on 9, and Casey Turner, who answered his own double on 9 with a birdie on 10—proof that sometimes the best response to chaos is to immediately create more chaos.

Motor Oil and Mathematics

The Beater Captain tag—crafted from repurposed dashboard material and polished duct tape, carrying "the faint scent of motor oil mixed with sunscreen and yesterday's snacks"—found its new navigator in Houston Turner, who climbed from #4 to #1 with the kind of +91 rating explosion that makes you question whether Chuck's putting homework contained actual trigonometry or just performance-enhancing snack fumes. 🛞 The tag's lore speaks of "navigating chaos with calm authority," which perfectly describes Houston's clean back nine while his cardmates were still calculating angles and forgetting to multiply by cosine. His latest history entry reads like a manifesto: "Beater Captain Ascends: +91 Rating Demolition"—the kind of performance that proves Chuck's ridiculous methods somehow work, even if Margaret Thornbury's noise complaint ledger now has an entire section dedicated to "mathematical shouting." Houston earned every grease stain on that tag, every heat crack resembling the cart's smoking engine, every rattling piece of duct-taped steering wheel hidden in its core. The HOA would be furious if they weren't too busy documenting his ascent.

The Extra Credit Nobody Attempted

No CTP, Ace, or Super Ace winners surfaced this week—everyone was so laser-focused on Chuck's required putting homework that the extra credit opportunities went completely untouched. The pots roll over into Week 4, waiting patiently for someone to remember that disc golf occasionally involves throwing at the basket instead of just calculating the optimal approach angle while standing 15 feet away. 🎯

Ridiculous Methods, Measurable Results

Chuck's "Putting Homework" episode delivered exactly what it promised: ridiculous mathematical stations that somehow improved putting averages by measurable percentages, at least for the students who actually did the reading. Houston Turner's +91 breakthrough proves the curriculum works, even if Margaret Thornbury's noise complaint about "mathematical shouting" suggests the methodology needs a volume adjustment. This week's league contributions added $9.50 to the Valley Course Fund ($9.00 automatic, $0.50 additional from players who clearly appreciate Chuck's chaos), bringing the total to $212.80 of the $1,000 goal—21% funded and climbing like Houston's rating differential.

The HOA Hasn't Seen Anything Yet

Week 4 brings "Backyard Baskets," where Chuck convinces players to build practice baskets using "found materials" and duct tape consumption triples across the neighborhood. 🏗️ Margaret Thornbury's violation notices are already being printed in bulk. The season stands at Week 3 of 9, with Houston Turner now steering the Beater Captain cart, Brian Hansen's two-week dominance finally cracked, and the carpool getting increasingly crowded with converts to Chuck's snack-fueled philosophy. The cart idles ominously in the parking lot, smoking slightly, ready for whatever architectural chaos awaits. The homework is complete. Construction begins next week. The HOA isn't ready.