Sloane Snagged

Five Truants and a Temperature Lie ❄️

Adjusts glasses, squints at the weather data. Week 3's "Sloane Snagged" at Dragonfly promised a frozen apocalypse—0°F, they said, Cameron would crack like his dad's vintage Roc under pressure. Reality? A balmy 43–50°F. Principal Rooney's freeze-out plan was a bluff, and only five players showed to call it. Austin Lott posted a 1028-rated round (68 points above his 960 rating), defended the #1 Fakeout Foreman tag, and looted $65 in skins. Clinton Atwater set a personal best in RAF. The heist was skeleton-thin but brutally efficient. 🎯

Eight Sole Birdies Walk Into a Woods

Austin Lott dominated RPA with a wire-to-wire -6, carding a 1028-rated round that left the field chasing shadows through Dragonfly's wooded corridors. Kenneth Oetker grabbed the lead after hole 1, but his over-par on hole 2 ended that fantasy before the coffee kicked in. Austin owned the birdie column—eight sole birdies across holes 2, 6, 7, 11, 12, 14, 16, and 17—while Kenneth faded to +6 (918-rated, 47 points below his 965 rating). Austin's clean back nine (zero bogeys) sealed the deal. Kenneth's Week 2 -2 has cratered to +6, a brutal 8-stroke swing. The Foreman never flinched. 🌲

Eric's Front Nine Was a Different Movie

Chris Fox claimed RAD with a +3 (946-rated, 22 points above his 924 rating), but the real drama belonged to Eric Pearson, whose front nine and back nine played like two separate films. Eric led early (hole 1), but his over-par on hole 6 ended his bid. Chris seized control after hole 5 and cruised, posting sole birdies on holes 5, 8, and 13. Eric's +11 finish (872-rated, 40 points below his 912 rating) tells the tale: his front nine was 9 strokes better than the back. A par train from holes 11–18 couldn't undo the damage. Chris improves slightly from Week 2's +2, while Eric's Week 2 +1 collapses to +11—a -10 swing that stings. 🎬

The Loneliest Heist

Clinton Atwater ran the RAF solo, posting a wire-to-wire +17 (817-rated)—his personal best for this course and layout. He was the only RAF player, which makes "wire-to-wire" technically accurate and cosmically absurd. Clinton's Week 2 +21 drops to +17, a 4-stroke improvement and a 104-point rating jump. Progress is progress, even when you're the only one in the caravan. He survived a 4-hole cold streak (holes 12–15) and recovered to card his best round yet. The loneliest heist still counts. 🏆

Ratings Swung Like a Vintage Roc

Austin Lott (+68 above rating) and Chris Fox (+22 above rating) delivered above-rating performances. Kenneth Oetker (-47) and Eric Pearson (-40) struggled below their cards. Austin's birdie monopoly was absurd—8 sole birdies across the field, with Chris adding 3 of his own. Hole 6 (par 4, 425ft) played +1.8 average, with Austin as the only birdie; everyone else took their lumps. Clinton's personal best +17 is the feel-good story buried in the stats. The course bit back, but Austin and Chris bit harder. 📊

Chasing Ghosts Through the Spring Sunlight

Austin Lott defended the #1 Fakeout Foreman tag with a performance that embodied the tag's entire lore: perceptual entropy, misdirection, and making the field chase ghosts. His 1028 round was 68 points above his rating and 9.5 strokes better than the field average. The Fakeout Foreman's art is holding the top spot while others scramble—the ultimate con. Austin's latest TagHistory entry nails it: "We're narrating why a number stays the same with the same breathless intensity as if it had jumped three spots. Lott's doing the real work—staying locked in, staying sharp, staying exactly where the best players live." The tag's properties—forged scorecards, mannequin decoys, sounds echoing from the wrong direction—feel earned when the holder is this dominant. 👻

The Vaults Stayed Locked 🔒

No CTP winner. No ace. No Super Ace on hole 11. The $731 Super Ace pot survives another week, the white whale still swimming through Dragonfly's marshy depths. The heist crew came for the big score, but the vaults stayed locked. Better luck next week. 🐋

Austin's $65 Heist-Within-a-Heist 💰

One skins card, five players, $90 exchanged. Austin Lott looted 13 skins for $65 (8:00 AM card, $5/skin), including a 3-skin carryover scoop on hole 11. Chris Fox grabbed 5 skins for $25, the consolation prize in a one-man show. Austin opened on hole 2 with a birdie (2 skins), Chris grabbed 3 on hole 5, and Austin closed out on holes 16 and 17. Clinton, Eric, and Kenneth finished with 0 skins. The skins card was a masterclass in dominance. Want in on the action? Learn how to set up skins. 💸

Five Dollars for the Course, Five Souls for the Cause

"Sloane Snagged" is the episode where the trio completes and the hunt officially begins—the skeleton crew of five mirrors the intimate heist vibe. Small team, high stakes, no room for error. This week's event raised $5 for the Dragonfly Course Fund ($1/player automatic contribution), pushing the total to $156.80 of the $1,000 goal (16% progress). The course was built by volunteers in 2021, and every dollar helps maintain the wooded paradise that punishes poor drives and rewards precision. Got ideas for improvements—tee pads, signage, benches? The course fund is listening. 🌳

Life Moves Pretty Fast (So Does Austin)

Week 3 of 9. Austin Lott is the undisputed truant king, holding the #1 Fakeout Foreman tag, dominating skins, and posting rounds that make the field question their life choices. The heist crew thinned to five players, but the stakes remain high. Next week: Episode 4, "Rooney Hunts"—the principal closes in, and survival mode activates. Life moves pretty fast at Dragonfly. Miss the fairway and you might miss everything. 🚗