Bankside Breakout

The Disaster That Forgot to Fail 🎬

adjusts headset through VHS static Episode 5 promised a "beautiful disaster"—a demonstration round destined to collapse under its own ambition—but fourteen players showed up at Creekside Park on Sunday, January 4th, 2026, and promptly rewrote the script. Under cloudy skies and mild 48-52°F temps with a steady 10 mph breeze, the Walter Fredrick Morrison Memorial Disc Golf Course became the stage for something the narrative didn't anticipate: a course record obliteration, four personal bests, and the largest field in three weeks. The "Bankside Breakout" was supposed to scatter under administrative pressure. Instead, it delivered the kind of round that makes you wonder if the Creek-rats are done asking permission. 🌲

Ninety-One Points Above the Script

Jared Lang didn't just win RPA—he demolished it. His -14 finish (1046 rated) set a new course record and landed 91 points above his 955 PDGA rating, the kind of statistical anomaly that makes you check the scorecard twice. Lang's round was surgical: zero bogeys, an 11-hole birdie streak from holes 2-12 that left the field gasping, then another three-hole burst at 15-17 to seal the deal. This wasn't incremental improvement; this was a complete performance rewrite. Brian Hansen wasn't far behind, surging to 2nd at -9 (978 rated, +42 above rating) with his own personal best. Hansen's back nine was pure heat—five birdies from holes 14-18, including the only birdie on the notoriously stingy hole 18. That final birdie wasn't just style points; it scooped a 6-skin carryover worth $6.00 in the 12:20 PM skins card. The Vanguard just got a new editor. 🔥

Casey's Tag Survived His Score

The early drama unfolded quickly: Ben Marolf, Casey Turner, Houston Turner, and Nicholas Scott all tied for the lead after hole 1. By hole 3, the field had sorted itself. Nicholas Scott bogied hole 2 and dropped out. Houston Turner bogied hole 3 and fell back. Hansen and Lang tied for the lead after hole 3, then Lang pulled away and never looked back. The real irony? Casey Turner—holder of the #1 Final Reel bag tag—finished T-7th at -4 (911 rated, +19 over his 930 rating) but successfully defended his tag. Last week he posted -5 for 1st place; this week he dropped to -4 and T-7th, yet the tag stayed put. That's not dominance; that's narrative inertia. Ben Marolf (-8, 3rd) ran a clean round with zero bogeys but couldn't crack the top two. Sometimes perfection isn't enough when someone else is rewriting physics. 🎯

Welcome to the Culling, Timothy 🎓

The RAE division was a two-player war of attrition, and Jon White emerged wire-to-wire at +5 (790 rated)—a round that landed 93 points below his 883 PDGA rating. But here's the thing: White still managed sole birdies on holes 1, 7, and 10, bucking trends on holes where the rest of the field struggled. His cold streak lasted three holes (12-14), but he held the line when it mattered. Timothy Scholle joined the series with a +6 finish (776 rated, -97 below his 873 rating), earning the Series Competitor achievement and a proper introduction to The Culling. Welcome to the arena, Timothy—your first round was a baptism by bogey, but you survived. The front nine was four strokes kinder than the back; learn from that, because Creekside doesn't get easier. 📊

Two-Player Division, Three-Act Drama

RAD delivered genuine tension despite its two-player field. Anthony Kai claimed wire-to-wire victory at -3 (898 rated, +22 above his 876 rating), but the lead changed hands three times before the final act. Kai and Skyler Kunz tied after hole 1. Kunz seized the lead after hole 4, then promptly gave it back when hole 7 ate his scorecard alive. Kai's response was clinical: a five-hole par train from holes 10-14 that showed patience under pressure, then a clean back nine to lock down the final cash spot. Kunz finished at E (2nd), just outside the money—close enough to taste it, far enough to sting. Sometimes the difference between victory and "almost" is a single hole where you lose your grip on the script. 🎭

Clean Rounds, Broken Records, One Lonely Division

Abraham Vidinhar won RAF wire-to-wire at +3 (817 rated), the lone competitor in his division but still putting in the work. His front nine was three strokes better than his back—a fade pattern that echoed RAE's struggles but still got the job done. Across the event, the stats tell the real story: Ben Marolf and Jared Lang both posted zero-bogey rounds, threading Creekside's willows and creek hazards without a single misstep. Four players set new personal bests—Lang (-14), Hansen (-9), Ethan Walker (-6), and Scott Belchak (-2)—proof that when the field shows up, records fall. The above-rating performances (Lang +91, Hansen +42, Kai +22) stood in sharp contrast to the below-rating struggles (Timothy Scholle -97, Jon White -93, Scott Belchak -35, Ethan Walker -22). Hole 14 and 16 were the great equalizers: Scott Belchak missed opportunities on the scoreable 14, Houston Turner stumbled on 16. Some days the course gives; some days it takes. Today it did both. 📈

The Final Reel Refuses to Recut

Casey Turner held the #1 Final Reel tag after shooting 50 (911 rated, +19 over his 930 PDGA rating), successfully defending it for the first time. The tag's lore speaks of "unchangeable truth" and "picture locked"—frames that refuse to recut—and sure enough, Casey's position remained static despite finishing T-7th. He outshot the field average by 1.6 strokes and matched his personal 49-stroke baseline, which is the disc golf equivalent of a perfectly competent supporting actor delivering their lines on cue. The arena's verdict? Picture locked. No movement, no drama, just Casey staying exactly where momentum and last week's statistical chaos deposited him. The Final Reel hums with low-frequency resonance, casting its flickering aura of alternating light and dark, and this week it decided Casey's narrative stays exactly where it is. Not elimination, not triumph. Just another frame in the reel. 🎞️

The Chains Stayed Silent, The Scorecards Screamed

No CTP winners. No ace pot payouts. No super ace celebrations. Fourteen rounds of disc golf at Creekside produced zero metal-on-metal magic, but the real drama lived on the scorecards. While the chains stayed quiet, Jared Lang's course record fell with a thunderous -14, four players set personal bests, and Brian Hansen closed out hole 18 with the only birdie of the day on that brutally stingy basket. Sometimes the spectacle isn't in the special events board—it's in the relentless accumulation of birdies, the clean rounds that refuse to crack, and the moments when a player looks at their scorecard and realizes they just rewrote their own ceiling. The chains will ring another day. Today belonged to the numbers. ⛓️

Skins: Where Dominance Becomes Currency

$94.50 changed hands across three skins cards, and Jared Lang claimed nearly half of it. His 14 skins on the 1:40 PM card at $3.00/skin netted him $42.00—a victory lap that turned his course record into cold cash. Brian Hansen scooped 12 skins for $12.00 on the 12:20 PM card ($1.00/skin), highlighted by his 6-skin carryover heist on hole 18. Ben Marolf collected 8 skins for $10.00 on the 12:00 PM card ($1.25/skin), a solid haul that nearly matched his clean third-place finish. The 12:00 PM card saw Houston Turner open hole 2 with a birdie for 2 skins, Ben take hole 7 for 5, Scott snag hole 12, and Houston close on 15. The 12:20 PM card started with Nicholas Scott's birdie on hole 1 for 1 skin, then Brian's hole 18 scoop for 6. Lang's dominance translated directly to his wallet—proof that when you rewrite the course record, you also rewrite the payout board. Any card can enable skins; learn how to set up skins for your next round. 💰

Three Thousand Dollars Says the Creek Wins

Episode 5's "demonstration round" was supposed to collapse under administrative scrutiny—a beautiful disaster that draws the wrong attention. Instead, fourteen players showed up, a course record fell, and the Creek-rats proved they're not just defending their sanctuary; they're actively improving it. This event added $15.00 to the Creekside Course Fund ($14 automatic at $1/player, $1 additional), pushing the total to $3,202.79—well past the original $1,000 goal. That's not weekly prize money; that's permanent infrastructure. OB stakes, tee signs, course improvements that will outlast this season and every season after. Principal Morrison may have confiscated a vintage disc from someone's locker (plot thickens), but the Creek-rats are building something she can't take away. The fund says the course wins. The scorecards back it up. 🏆

The Script Said Fail. They Didn't Listen.

Week 5 of 9 marks the midpoint pivot: the demonstration round that wasn't supposed to work became the round that redefined what's possible at Creekside. Jared Lang's course record reshapes the Vanguard hierarchy, Casey Turner's tag defense keeps him atop the bag tag board despite a middling finish, and the field depth returned with authority. Next week brings Episode 6: Truancy Tribunal—the Creek-rats face Principal Morrison for a formal disciplinary hearing, but her questions suggest she knows more than she's letting on. That vintage disc on her desk? The one with the faded tournament stamp? She recognizes the old oak on hole seven. She remembers the course from thirty years ago. The tribunal isn't punishment; it's a test. Four weeks remain to build the midnight league, and Morrison just gave them a deadline: "Whatever you're planning, make it count." The script said fail. They didn't listen. Now the real work begins. 🌊