First Bell, First Blood 🔔
December 7, 2025 marked the opening of Fast Times at Creekside High, and fifteen players answered the first bell at the Walter Fredrick Morrison Memorial course. With temperatures hovering in the survivable 42-46°F range—defying the apocalyptic weather warnings—the creek course awakened from its winter slumber to witness Nicholas Scott deliver a bogey-free, 1010-rated masterpiece. The Vanguard faction flexed their seasoned Creek-rat muscles while the Challengers showed they came to compete, not just attend. First day of school? More like first day of reckoning. 📚
The Vanguard Didn't Come to Study
Nicholas Scott seized control after hole 5 and never looked back, posting the only bogey-free round in RPA with a commanding -11 finish that rated 1010. Malachi Vazquez (-9, 983-rated) held down second place after a scorching front nine, securing the final cash spot with a clean back nine. The third-place tie belonged to Brian Hansen and Houston Turner, both firing -7 rounds rated at 957—Turner's climb from outside the top 3 included a bogey-free back nine that caught everyone's attention. Dustin Hanson (E) and Scott Belchak (+1) struggled against their ratings, with Belchak bouncing back from a double on 15 with a clutch birdie on 16. Sean Kelley endured a brutal +8 day, finishing 112 points below his rating after a 4-hole cold streak that felt like detention. 🔥
Eric Pearson went wire-to-wire in RAD, posting a ridiculous 90-point spike above his 907 rating with a -10 finish rated at 997. His clean front nine set the tone, but the real poetry came in his closing stretch—three birdies from holes 16-18, capped by a clutch finish on 18 that sealed the deal. Nicholas Jennings (-3, 903-rated) tied for the lead after hole 1 but couldn't match Pearson's sustained excellence. When you're shooting nearly 100 points above your rating, the only appropriate response is to throw more birdies. Mathematics has feelings, and Pearson hurt them. 📊
Lead Changes Like Locker Combinations
The RAE division delivered maximum chaos, with Brodie Duncan (-3, 903-rated) surviving multiple lead swaps to claim victory. After sharing leads, dropping out on bogeys, and clawing back repeatedly, Duncan found his rhythm on the back nine—shooting 5 strokes better than his front and sealing it with a birdie on 18. Andrew Nemelka (-2, 890-rated) held the lead late but stumbled on hole 15, finishing on the bubble. Brian Bowling (+1, 850-rated) came out blazing with a front nine 3 strokes better than his back, but couldn't sustain the pace. Sometimes the combination clicks, sometimes it doesn't. 🔒
Wire-to-Wire on a Two-Person Group Project
Jordan Lucero took the lead on hole 1 in RAF and never let go, riding a 5-hole par train to close out his +1, 850-rated victory. The only cash spot in the division belonged to him from start to finish. Matt Berman (+2, 837-rated) showed flashes of brilliance with sole birdies on holes 14 and 15—the latter against a +0.7 field average that was eating everyone else alive. Sometimes the best group projects are the ones where you can count on your partner to show up and not mess things up. Mission accomplished. 🚂
Wire-to-Wire by Default (Still Counts)
Kevin Harmer claimed RAG with a +13, 690-rated performance that included a 4-hole cold streak from 13-16 but ultimately saw him finish the round and collect his wire-to-wire victory. Every journey starts somewhere, and sometimes that somewhere is a division of one. The scorecard doesn't ask how many people you beat—it just asks if you finished. Harmer finished. 🏆
The Bell Curve Got Violent
Five players shot 24+ points above their rating, led by Eric Pearson's absurd 90-point spike and Houston Turner's 77-point jump. Both Scott and Turner posted bogey-free rounds, proving that perfection is possible when the creek gods smile upon you. On the flip side, Sean Kelley (-112 vs. rating) and Scott Belchak (-73) had days they'd rather forget. Hole 15 (Par 3, 258ft) played tough for Challengers (+0.7 avg), but Matt Berman bucked the trend with the only birdie. Hole 11 yielded just one birdie in Vanguard—Nicholas Scott's, naturally. The $731 Super Ace pot on Hole 4 remains unclaimed, growing hungrier by the week. 📈
First Verse Written in Bogey-Free Ink
The Canal Vanguard (#1 tag) has found its first bearer, and Nicholas Scott answered its call with flawless execution. The tag's lore promises it belongs to those who "lead not by shouting, but by showing the way with flawless execution and unwavering commitment." Scott's bogey-free, 1010-rated masterpiece elevated him from arbitrary 9th in pre-season rankings to undisputed 1st. The Pre-Raphaelite mist hovering over canal water, the hand frozen mid-release, the willows trailing in botanical perfection—it all belongs to the spearpoint of the resistance now. As the tag's history notes: "He didn't attend Homeroom; he became the principal." The opening verse is written, and it's written in bogey-free ink. 🎨
Lunch Money Exchanged Hands
Three skins cards saw $202.50 change hands among the Creek-rats. Nicholas Scott dominated the 11:40 AM card with 13 skins worth $65, including a massive 10-skin carryover on Hole 11 that felt like finding a twenty in your winter coat. Nicholas Jennings led the 10:20 AM card with 9 skins ($45), while Malachi Vazquez added 5 skins ($25) on the late card. Houston Turner rode 7 birdies to 12 skins on the 11:00 AM card, and Brodie Duncan closed out the 10:20 card with a birdie on 18 for 2 skins. Want in on the action? Learn how to set up skins before next week's bell rings. 💰
The Orange Flags Haven't Appeared Yet
Week 1's "Creekside Homeroom" theme delivered on its promise—strangers became competitors, competitors became something more, and the creek course proved it's ready for whatever this season brings. The Vanguard faction (seasoned Creek-rats) flexed their experience, but the Challengers showed they're not just here for attendance credit. The barefoot guru's prophecy about "the year everything changes" feels less cryptic with each passing round. This week's play added $15.50 to the Creekside Course Fund—$15 from automatic $1/player contributions, plus $0.50 in extras. The fund has surpassed its $1,000 goal ($1,127.31 total), with no open requests currently pending. Got a vision for the sacred woods? Time to submit your improvement ideas. 🌲
Don't Be Late for Tardy Teepad
The first bell has rung, the Canal Vanguard has its bearer, and the battle lines are drawn. Next week brings "Tardy Teepad" (Week 2 of 9)—where players master the art of the stolen "study hall" round, learn hall monitor rotations, and discover which excuses actually work. Principal Morrison's truancy crackdown looms on the horizon, and the Creek-rats will need to stay one step ahead of the administration. The software is watching, the chains are waiting, and somewhere in the willows, orange surveyor flags are being sharpened. Class dismissed—but don't be late for the next lesson. ⏰
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