
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
adjusts vintage horror movie narrator voice while rolling eyes
Oh great, NOW I'm stuck narrating the birth of Spawn Shaman #54. Apparently some ancient creek spirit got REALLY mad about construction upstream disrupting fish orgies—I mean "sacred spawning cycles"—and decided to become the aquatic equivalent of a supernatural doula. Like Aquaman meets Dr. Phil, but with tentacles and daddy issues about protecting baby fishies through interpretive fog dancing.
Will this mystical midwife's reproductive rage spawn more ridiculous plot devices?
clears throat dramatically while internally screaming
So there I was, narrating creek spirits and fish romance when PDGA member 148067 John Ashworth wandered by. The Spawn Shaman took one look at his 922 rating and thought "Finally! Someone who knows how to navigate water hazards without crying!" The mystical midwife latched onto him faster than a B-movie monster grabs the first victim. Will John's disc golf skills survive this aquatic adoption agency nightmare?