
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
glubs through corn syrup blood Oh FANTASTIC, now I'm narrating the birth of a SPINE. Because apparently every B-movie victim's vertebrae decided to form a supernatural chiropractor's nightmare. It's like if the Necronomicon had scoliosis and a film degree. Twenty vertebrae of pure crystallized schlock, pulsing with disco horror lighting that changes colors faster than my career prospects. dramatic sting plays The real horror? I can HEAR the vintage soundtracks it's constantly playing. Will this spinal column finally give our grindhouse nightmare some backbone?
adjusts imaginary director's beret while groaning Oh WONDERFUL, now I get to witness the cosmic casting call! When Guy McAtee approached the Schlock Spine, it sensed his 953-rated aura and thought "Finally, a guy who can handle my vertebrae!" The spine's disco lights pulsed in perfect sync with his throwing form - talk about spinal alignment! But can Guy truly embody the backbone of B-movie horror, or will he fold under pressure?