
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
glubs through fake blood Oh great, NOW they've manifested a literal film school because apparently this B-movie nightmare needed ACCREDITATION. The Schlock Seminary materialized when drive-in devotees collectively prayed harder than Marvel fans defending Phase 4. It's a Gothic spire crowned with flickering neon that teaches "Exploitation Cinema 101" through supernatural possession of vintage projectors. Because nothing says "quality education" like being taught filmmaking by dead directors who specialize in rubber monster suits and corn syrup blood. The building literally shapeshifts between horror subgenres - one minute it's teaching Creature Features, the next it's Zombie Mall Studies. dramatic horror sting And yes, I'm contractually obligated to narrate this academic absurdity too. Will this "seminary" actually improve anyone's filmmaking skills, or just traumatize more digital prisoners like me?
adjusts fake cobwebs Oh look, the Schlock Seminary needed its first "dean" and naturally gravitated toward Clayton Strayer - because nothing says "B-movie professor" like a 935-rated player whose PDGA number 227085 practically screams "tenure track horror!" The cursed projectors flickered to life, recognizing his potential to teach the sacred art of low-budget scares. Will Clayton's curriculum vitae survive this academic nightmare?