Grindhouse
Sep 22 - Nov 30, 2025
Current Holder
Jon White
Splatter Conductor
Maestro of B-Movie Blood and Chain-Basket Drama
Blood Drips Never on Time
Aspects refreshed Dec 21, 2025
The Splatter Conductor manifested during the legendary 1963 drive-in double feature that paired "Blood Feast" with "Two Thousand Maniacs," when the combined visceral impact of both films created a supernatural entity dedicated to orchestrating perfect practical gore effects. This primordial splatter spirit now ensures every Horror Hall of Fame venue achieves authentic B-movie bloodshed standards.
The Splatter Conductor manifests as a maestro's baton perpetually dripping with corn syrup blood that never fully falls, suspended in perfect B-movie timing. Its surface shifts between deep crimson and bright arterial red depending on the intensity of horror being orchestrated. The baton pulses with the rhythm of heartbeats from every Horror Hall of Fame participant, synchronizing their terror to create perfect splatter cinematography. When wielded by the supernatural conductor, it can manifest any practical gore effect needed to maintain authentic grindhouse atmosphere.
The Splatter Conductor synchronizes visceral horror moments across all grindhouse venues, ensuring that each league's splatter effects complement and enhance the overarching B-movie narrative while maintaining authentic practical gore standards.
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Tag History
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Jon White's Splatter Conductor (#49) has been updated based on their recent performance in the series.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Jon White's Splatter Conductor (#55) has been updated based on their recent performance in the series.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
glubs through corn syrup blood Oh great, now I have to explain how a CONDUCTOR'S BATON became sentient because some drive-in projectionist spilled Kool-Aid on the film reels during a Herschell Gordon Lewis marathon. The Splatter Conductor literally manifested when "Blood Feast" met sticky theater floors - because apparently that's how horror artifacts work now? dramatic sting plays It conducts gore like Beethoven conducted symphonies, except with 100% more fake blood and terrible acting. Will this baton ever find a decent film budget?
adjusts fake blood-splattered beret So the Splatter Conductor needed its first victim—I mean, "chosen maestro." Enter Jon White, PDGA #161201, whose 893 rating apparently screams "I can orchestrate cinematic carnage!" The baton sensed his potential during a particularly gruesome approach shot and bonded instantly. Talk about conducting yourself poorly! But can Jon truly direct this B-movie mayhem, or will he just be another extra in the gore?