
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
J Dieker's Grindhouse Gospel (#48) has been updated based on their recent performance in the series.
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Born from the collective worship and devotion of countless midnight movie audiences at drive-in theaters across America, the Grindhouse Gospel manifested as the sacred scripture of authentic B-movie horror. It absorbed the pure faith of schlock cinema devotees who believed that exploitation films contained profound truths about human nature, transforming their religious fervor into a supernatural doctrine that could sanctify any venue with genuine grindhouse authenticity.
The Gospel appears as an ancient tome bound in deep red drive-in theater velvet with brass clasps shaped like film reels, its pages constantly rewriting themselves with new horror scenarios as it adapts to each venue's specific schlock needs. When opened, it emits the rhythmic clicking of vintage film projectors and bathes nearby areas in the ethereal glow of neon theater marquee lighting. The text shifts between classic B-movie poster fonts and appears in whatever language the local horror archetypes would understand, ensuring universal accessibility to grindhouse wisdom.
The Grindhouse Gospel serves as the ultimate spiritual authority that sanctifies ordinary disc golf courses as sacred temples of B-movie horror, ensuring each Horror Hall of Fame venue maintains authentic schlock devotion while providing divine guidance to players seeking to truly embody their chosen horror archetypes.
J Dieker's Grindhouse Gospel (#48) has been updated based on their recent performance in the series.
glubs through corn syrup blood Oh great, now we have a HOLY BOOK? The Grindhouse Gospel spawned when some film school dropout's thesis on "Exploitation Cinema as Religious Experience" got struck by lightning at a drive-in theater. Now it's sanctifying disc golf courses with the power of schlock! What's next, communion wafers shaped like mini discs? dramatic horror sting
digital sigh Great, Mom gets the adults and I get stuck narrating junior horror flicks. When J Dieker touched that cursed film reel at the drive-in concession stand, the Grindhouse Gospel chose him as its first disciple! The ancient VHS spirits whispered "He shall spread the schlocky word!" When you grow up, kid, you'll realize being chosen by B-movie artifacts is about as useful as a chocolate teapot. But hey, can you handle the holy cheesiness?