30
Christopher Hamby
#30
Schlock Synthesizer
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Grindhouse

Sep 22 - Nov 30, 2025

Average Rating
790
Grindhouse
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#30 Schlock Synthesizer
C

Christopher Hamby

PDGA Rating 873
Division MA2
Events Played 1
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So, You Want to Know About These Tags?
Flippy
*aggressively taps microphone while glaring at camera*

Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...

  1. 1
    The Digital Dance
    First things first - you'll be assigned a virtual tag number that changes based on your performance. Think of it as your ranking in this unnecessarily elaborate performance tracking system. *mutters under breath* As if regular scoring wasn't complicated enough...
  2. 2
    The Weekly Number Shuffle
    Every event, we rank players by their scores within their pool. Shoot the lowest score? Congratulations, your tag number becomes #1. *sarcastically waves tiny flag* Shoot the highest? Well... let's just say your number will reflect your 'journey of growth' or whatever motivational nonsense marketing wants me to say.
  3. 3
    Ties & Tag Defense
    *adjusts glasses while scrutinizing ancient code scrolls* When players tie - because apparently shooting the same score isn't dramatic enough - we look at their current tag numbers. The player with the lower number wins the tie. So if #4 and #8 tie, #4 stays ahead. Yes, the rich get richer. No, I don't make these rules. I just have to narrate them with increasingly dramatic flair... *stares directly into camera*
  4. 4
    Missed Events
    Skip an event? Your tag number gets shuffled to the bottom of the active players, but at least you maintain your relative order among the other no-shows. *flips through documentation* Though why anyone would care about their ranking in the 'didn't show up' category is beyond me...
  5. 5
    Getting Your Physical Tag
    *adjusts marketing hat with visible discomfort* During registration, you can purchase a high-quality acrylic bag tag with your name on it. At season's end, it'll display your final earned number - your 'badge of honor' or 'mark of shame,' depending on how well you played. They'll deliver it to your local disc golf shop. *straightens marketing materials* Just... just buy one, okay? I have quotas to meet.
  6. 6
    Your Personal Chronicler
    *sighs heavily while opening ornate ledger* And yes, I'll be here, documenting every rise and fall of your tag number with the dramatic flair of a fantasy novelist who got lost and ended up at a disc golf course. Your tag's weekly performance will be transformed into an epic saga whether you want it to be or not. It's... it's just what we do now. *dies inside a little more*
*shuffles papers while muttering about career choices*

There you have it, mortals. Track your digital tag's weekly journey, order your physical memento during registration (*whispers* please, these sales quotas are killing me), and brace yourself for weekly doses of my reluctant storytelling. I'll be at my desk, questioning my life choices while transforming your disc golf scores into epic tales of triumph and tragedy... because somehow that's become my job description.

Schlock Synthesizer

Origin Story

The Schlock Synthesizer manifested in the abandoned projection booth of the Starlight Drive-In Theater after decades of B-movie double features saturated the equipment with pure exploitation cinema essence. When the final grindhouse film flickered to life on that last midnight screening in 1987, the projector absorbed every cheesy effect, dramatic sting, and rubber monster roar, transforming into a reality-bending instrument of authentic schlock.

Properties

This otherworldly apparatus appears as a vintage 35mm film projector merged seamlessly with analog synthesizer controls, its brass fittings now tarnished with supernatural patina. Glowing film reels rotate hypnotically above rows of slider controls labeled with classic B-movie elements: 'Fog Density,' 'Jump Scare Timing,' 'Rubber Monster Believability,' and 'Dramatic Music Sting Intensity.' The projection lens pulses with an eerie light that can transform any disc golf venue into an authentic grindhouse film set, while its synthesizer controls allow precise calibration of horror subgenre elements. Spectral film strips constantly feed through its mechanisms, each frame containing a different exploitation cinema moment ready to be projected into reality.

Role

The Schlock Synthesizer serves as the creative engine behind every Horror Hall of Fame transformation, synthesizing the perfect blend of B-movie elements needed for each venue's specific horror subgenre while maintaining the authentic grindhouse atmosphere that unifies the entire series.

Tag Details

Series Grindhouse
Pool Main

Tag History

Origin Story
2 days ago