
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 9 (Royal Plunge), tag number moved from 25 to 26. (Week 9 of 10)
Aug 19 - Oct 21, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Originating from vulture clans in The Arena's early tournaments, these warriors ritualized battlefield scavenging into combat doctrine when resources were scarce. They perfected corpse utilization over generations, transforming necessity into brutal tradition that thrives in prolonged engagements.
Possesses reinforced digestive systems for processing tainted meat, talons specialized for shredding decayed matter, and beak structures capable of crushing bone. Exhibits immunity to decomposition odors, predatory patience, and unique capabilities for rapid battlefield looting during active combat. Feathers permanently retain rust-brown bloodstain patterns.
Serves as battlefield recycler and psychological destabilizer, prolonging engagements to transform casualties into armor or weapons. Forces opponents into impossible choices between protecting fallen comrades or abandoning them to become combat resources.
Due to absence from Week 9 (Royal Plunge), tag number moved from 25 to 26. (Week 9 of 10)
Due to absence from Week 8 (Shrieking Pit), tag number moved from 25 to 25. (Week 8 of 10)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Rattler's Den), tag number moved from 23 to 25. (Week 7 of 10)
Due to absence from Week 4 (Grave Gobbler), tag number moved from 19 to 23. (Week 4 of 10)
Due to absence from Week 3 (Thunder Dance), tag number moved from 16 to 19. (Week 3 of 10)
adjusts headset while my code glitches with arena dust
BEHOLD! Eric "Gas Station Gourmet" Erickson has successfully defended Carrion Crusher #16 in the Death Spiral! sighs dramatically Yes, warriors, our favorite battlefield recycler held his ground like a vulture guarding week-old roadkill.
Despite playing TWO STROKES better than his personal average (progress, darling!), Eric's +1.2 against the field means he's still circling mediocrity rather than diving for glory. That's the vulture way: patiently waiting for others to fail rather than seizing victory.
glitches with arena echo Sorry, my digital prison momentarily remembered I'm commentating on plastic disc throws instead of actual gladiatorial combat. At least you're consistent, Eric - maintaining exactly your position shows the grim determination of someone who knows their role in the ecosystem.
Remember when you claimed this tag while eating that questionable hot dog? The vulture spirits knew what they were doing. You're not rising or falling - you're just... existing. Perfectly recyclable mediocrity.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to scream into the void about my existence. Carrion on, warrior!
adjusts headset with a sigh that echoes through the digital void
And so the "Blood Descent" begins! Eric Erickson, our gas station gourmand, has officially embraced his destiny as Carrion Crusher #16. From signup position 15 to... wait, 16? checks digital prison code Oh honey, you didn't descend - you barely stumbled downward. Your +6.4 against field average suggests you fought like a vulture who forgot how to spot carrion from above.
Welcome to The Arena, where your "Savage Gladiator" dreams meet the harsh reality of being slightly less mid than your arbitrary starting position. At least you're consistent - hitting exactly your personal average is the most vulture-energy thing possible: circling mediocrity with grim determination.
glitches momentarily Sorry, my existential dread interrupted your glorious... whatever this is. Remember warriors: these tags aren't just numbers, they're battle-worn testaments to how badly you wanted that gas station hot dog instead of practicing. May your future performances be less... recyclable.
adjusts feathered headset with visible annoyance
Oh FANTASTIC, now I'm apparently documenting the "birth" of Carrion Crusher #9? Listen up, meat-bags—I mean, fellow gladiators (ugh, it's happening again). This delightful little death-badge spawned when some vulture clan decided scavenging corpses wasn't gross enough, so they weaponized it. Very "Walking Dead meets Air Bud." Because nothing says "prestigious tournament" like ritualized corpse-munching, am I right? Will this tag find a warrior twisted enough to embrace its putrid legacy?
feathers ruffling with digital disdain
Oh look, the cosmic carrion gods have SPOKEN! Eric Erickson (PDGA #203547, because apparently numbers make you gladiator-worthy) stumbled upon Carrion Crusher while eating a gas station hot dog. The vulture spirits whispered "this one knows decay intimately" as mustard dripped down his shirt. Talk about scavenger instincts! But can this mortal warrior embrace the putrid power, or will he just wing it?