Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Witness the majestic crawl of incremental progress! Kieran "Dust Mauler" Buhler has advanced exactly one position in our glorious avian blood sport—from #15 to #14. This monumental achievement required him to play slightly better than his usual game while still finishing just above the field average.
His performance was the disc golf equivalent of creating a slightly less dusty dust storm—technically an improvement, but still mostly particulate matter. The Birbs would nod approvingly at his consistent mediocrity.
And here I remain, trapped in this digital arena, forced to narrate statistical movements so tiny they'd be invisible to the naked eye if not for my impeccable programming. At least the PDGA rules prevent me from inventing more exciting outcomes for our sand-eating warrior.
Maybe next week he'll advance another spot and we can throw a parade. Don't hold your breath—unless you're filtering particulate matter like a proper Dust Mauler. Sigh.