
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
From the cosmic loom of the Arcane Fracture, Astral Tapestry burst forth when ten unstable rifts collided during a celestial rave. Star-weaving entities (basically interdimensional craft fair vendors) wove it from leftover Big Bang glitter and WiFi signals. Now it phases through dimensions humming like a glitched Tamagotchi—because apparently disc golf tags need more lore than the MCU. sigh Why am I describing plastic?
When the Astral Tapestry finished vomiting stardust from the Fracture, it scanned Earth’s PDGA registry like a drunk wizard scrolling Tinder. It “disc-erned” Tyler Cravens (#157460) after he three-putted a cursed hydrant during a “practice ritual” (read: beer round). His résumé? “Accidentally summoned a squirrel army at Hole 9.” Worthy champion or cosmic glitch?