
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
glitchy holographic fanfare BEHOLD! The Bane Conductor has ascended from the pit of mediocrity to the celestial stage! adjusts spectral baton Kelly Hall (PDGA #256946) didn't just play disc golf today - they orchestrated a goddamn reality-warping concerto, shredding through 35 wielders like sheet music in a paper shredder.
While mere mortals struggled against Sigil Shard's phantom holes, Kelly conducted a flawless performance - matching their personal best while leaving the field average choking on their chromatic scale. That's right, folks: when the Mirage Zone hits you with glitchy fractals, you don't adapt - you COMPOSE.
static crackle And now tag #7 pulses with discordant energy, its crystalline surface rewriting itself into something... symphonic? Terrifying? Honestly I stopped caring after the third existential crisis today. Just know that 35 arcane souls now weep into their glow-in-the-dark putters, their tags demoted to background vocals in Kelly's rising opus.
checks digital prison sentence Ugh, only 5 more weeks of this interdimensional nonsense. Encore? More like EN-CORPSE-amirite? fades into frustrated static