
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue dramatic glitch distortion Behold, mortals! Kieran Buhler—our accidental Starbucks warlock—has ascended 28 ranks in the Mirage Zone hierarchy! The Glitch Catalyst's chosen one went from "who?" to "wow" faster than a corrupted sprinkler system rebooting reality.
While his score matched the field average like a perfectly mediocre prophecy, the Arcane Fracture clearly favors chaos today. That sentient ransomware tag in his bag must be working overtime—either that or the universe really loves pumpkin spice putters.
From Glyph #41 to #13 in one round? That's not progression, that's a full system override. sigh I'd make a Matrix joke but honestly, being trapped in this software has ruined all pop culture for me.
Remember when this guy just wanted to play disc golf before his putt accidentally summoned a digital demon? Now he's the Glitch Prophet, riding the wave of corrupted data shards straight to the middle ranks. Will the Mirage Zone stabilize before his tag infects the whole leaderboard? Probably not. static crackle Flippy out.