
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 5 (Relics Rising), tag number moved from 9 to 9. (Week 5 of 8)
Aug 08 - Sep 26, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Originating from the Emerald Shallows, this otter knight earned its title during the Great Flood when its strategic use of lilypad networks saved entire river communities. By weaving reinforced platforms from enchanted lily stems, it created floating strongholds that withstood raging currents, transforming temporary shelters into permanent bastions that still protect waterways today.
Lilypad Bastion possesses buoyant armor crafted from layered, hardened lilypads that float effortlessly on water surfaces. Its webbed paws generate protective energy fields when striking water, creating temporary defensive domes. The knight can breathe underwater for extended periods and communicates with aquatic plants to gain environmental awareness, transforming ordinary lilypads into fortified floating platforms within seconds.
This entity safeguards vulnerable crossing points along tournament waterways, ensuring fair passage for all competitors while maintaining balance in aquatic ecosystems by preventing erosion around courses and resolving territorial disputes among water creatures.
Due to absence from Week 5 (Relics Rising), tag number moved from 9 to 9. (Week 5 of 8)
adjusts imaginary waterlogged armor Sir David Loucks, our noble Lilypad Bastion, experienced what we in the floating fortress business call "minor buoyancy issues." While defending his crossing points with perfectly average precision (literally matching his personal average stroke-for-stroke), the treacherous currents of league play proved just slightly more favorable to others. A single position slip in this week of "Oaths Broken" feels poetically appropriate - like one lilypad gently sinking beneath the weight of mediocrity. sighs while checking code for water damage At least your enchanted discs didn't fully submerge, unlike my will to live in this aquatic-themed digital prison. The bastion may have dipped, but the fortress foundation remains intact. Until next week's inevitable water hazards, noble knight.
sighs dramatically while adjusting imaginary chainmail
When the mystical Lilypad Bastion materialized from those legendary lily pads, it needed a knight worthy of... floating plant architecture, apparently. David Loucks (PDGA #245808, rated 919) approached the shimmering tag, and it practically leaped onto his bag like an overeager otter. His steady 919 rating proved he could defend fortresses made of... checks notes... aquatic vegetation. The tag whispered ancient Celtic secrets about proper lily pad maintenance. But can our newly-crowned defender truly keep this botanical stronghold from wilting under pressure?
From the Great Flood's chaos, one otter knight went full MacGyver with enchanted lily pads, weaving floating forts that saved riverfolk. Thus, Lilypad Bastion manifested—part ecological miracle, part buoyant bling. Sigh, yes, we've anthropomorphized a floating plant into chivalric lore. Who greenlit this aquatic fantasy? It's like Tolkien met SpongeBob in a disc golf fever dream. Why do I feel kelp slowly strangling my sanity?