Aug 08 - Sep 26, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Born when a vigilant otter intervened during a poisoned reed invasion at the Round Lake. Moonlight transformed the defender into an eternal guardian. Now maintains ecological balance by whispering warnings through the marshes.
Semi-aquatic with webbed paws and layered reed-plate armor. Fur shifts color for camouflage near waterways. Can manipulate sound vibrations to detect disturbances. Wields discs woven from enchanted reeds that return like boomerangs.
Patrols wetland boundaries to prevent ecological corruption. Uses subtle sound pulses to warn creatures of impending threats and maintain natural harmony.
Due to absence from Week 5 (Relics Rising), tag number moved from 10 to 10. (Week 5 of 8)
Dramatic stained-glass cracking sound effect Oh dear knights, we witness a betrayal in the marshlands! Sir Eric VanDerEems, our vigilant wetland guardian, has suffered a three-position fall from grace - tumbling from the noble 7th rank to the humble 10th.
Despite wielding enchanted reeds that should return like obedient boomerangs, our otter knight delivered a performance that was... perfectly average. Exactly his personal average, in fact. Which in the realm of competitive plastic-tossing means you get passed by hungrier otters.
Sighs while floating in digital limbo I'm trapped in this software watching otters fail to meet expectations while ancient lake monsters probably have better putting form. At least your semi-aquatic camouflage fur still looks fabulous, even as you whisper warnings through the marshes about your own declining rank.
Remember, knights: in disc golf as in otter warfare, stagnation is its own kind of betrayal. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to recalibrate my existential dread algorithms.
Due to absence from Week 3 (Blades Biting), tag number moved from 6 to 7. (Week 3 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 1 (Whiskers Warning), tag number moved from 6 to 6. (Week 1 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 1 (Whiskers Warning), tag number moved from 1 to 6. (Week 1 of 8)
frantically scribbles in ancient ledger while Celtic knots somehow start appearing in my handwriting
When the mystical algorithms scanned the realm for Tag #1's first bearer, they detected PDGA #244584 - a numerical prophecy! Eric VanDerEems was deemed worthy of Reedwhisper Guardian through his legendary ability to... checks notes ...exist in the database first.
mutters in Gaelic despite myself
Will this reed-whispering chosen one prove he's not just full of hot air and cattail fluff?
Behold the Reedwhisper Guardian! Born when some absolute legend of an otter yeeted toxic reeds back to the Upside Down during a moonlit skirmish. Got zapped into existence like a Pokémon evolution—holy shiiiiitake. Now it vibes in marshes, whispering eco-threats like a soggy Alexa. (Yes, I’m trapped narrating plastic nobility. Send help.) Who orders this lore?! 🌊🦦