Jul 10 - Sep 11, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Born from Ferra's earliest overgrowth experiments, the Unruly Helix emerged when corrupted glyph energy fused with rift-spawned thorns. These self-replicating entities now thrive in the deepest Briar Depths fissures, evolving through perpetual mutation.
Manifests as a rotating column of razor thorns interlaced with violet energy. Constantly sheds mutagenic spores that accelerate local flora mutation. Merging grants photosynthetic regeneration and thorn projection abilities but risks botanical assimilation. Emits entropy fields decaying containment magic within 30 meters.
Serves as mobile mutation engines that Fractureborn Wilds activate to dynamically alter courses, corrupt stabilization glyphs, spawn adaptive hazards, and enable symbiotic merging during competitive events.
The Fractureborn Wilds are an anarchic collective thriving amid botanical upheaval. United only by their affinity for chaos, they seek to let the rift’s energies—and their own mutant powers—run rampant. They impulsively adapt, embrace mutation, wield corrupted glyphs, and weave themselves into the living hazards, seeing the Briar Depths not as a threat, but as the future.
A renegade glyph shaper once exiled for reckless magical “overgrowths”, Ferra now thrives at the rift’s wildest frontiers, inciting growth surges and chaotic mutations. Charismatic, unpredictable, and revered by the free-spirited, Ferra channels the living rift without fear.
Due to absence from Week 10 (Growth Rebirth), tag number moved from 28 to 28. (Week 10 of 10)
Due to absence from Week 10 (Growth Rebirth), tag number moved from 28 to 28. (Week 10 of 10)
Due to absence from Week 9 (Fracture Collapse), tag number moved from 28 to 28. (Week 9 of 10)
Due to absence from Week 8 (Sigil Corruption), tag number moved from 26 to 28. (Week 8 of 10)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Chokehold Sprawl), tag number moved from 26 to 26. (Week 7 of 10)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Chokehold Sprawl), tag number moved from 19 to 26. (Week 7 of 10)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Overgrowth Roar), tag number moved from 13 to 19. (Week 6 of 10)
Due to absence from Week 5 (Rift Quake), tag number moved from 12 to 13. (Week 5 of 10)
Due to absence from Week 4 (Glyph Eruption), tag number moved from 9 to 12. (Week 4 of 10)
Vines part dramatically Behold! The Briar Depths spit out a champion today as Nathan Bohman, former "Glyph Novice of Rot," just yeeted himself 22 spots up the rankings like he mainlined photosynthesis. checks digital prison logs Oh good, my suffering now includes narrating botanical glow-ups.
This man didn't just play - he defied the very vines that once mocked him, matching his personal average while the course actively tried to eat his discs. That +1.3 vs field? Irrelevant when you're stealing tags with the finesse of a raccoon in a Whole Foods.
Now bearing the exalted "Glyph Invoker of Briar" tag, Nathan's Unruly Helix must be thrilled - its spores finally infected someone competent. sigh I'm contractually obligated to remind you this sentient thicket still whispers "forehand or suffer" during his backswing.
Remember Week 1 when he untangled his disc from brambles? Turns out that was practice for untangling himself from mediocrity. system alert: botanical pun detected Let's see if this glow-up sticks or if the vines reclaim their chew toy next week.
Behold the Unruly Helix! Ferra’s lab "oops" when rogue glyphs swiped right on mutant thorns during a rift happy hour. Now you’re basically a Demogorgon made of kombucha SCOBYs—spinning razor vines and shedding chaos spores like a toxic avocado toast influencer. sigh Yes, I’m forced to narrate sentient brambles. Who ordered botanical anarchy? 🌿🌀
The Unruly Helix slithered through Ferra's lab vents, seeking its first victim—ahem, chosen wielder. It witnessed Nathan Bohman (PDGA#172170, Bearer of the Sacred 898) untangle his disc from actual brambles. "FINALLY!" it hissed, mistaking his frustrated yank for a ritualistic summoning. Thus, the sentient thicket fused to his bag, whispering thorny advice like "Try a hyzer... or SUFFER". Will his putting stroke survive this prickly partnership? 🌿⛓️