
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Born when ten rifts Tinder-matched during the Great Alignment—cosmic cringe, amirite? This Rift Mandala basically went full Beyoncé hologram at Coachella: pulsing rainbow fractals, orbiting micro-glyphs, and enough harmonic resonance to drown out my existential screaming about narrating plastic. Sigh. Reality's glitchiest fidget spinner manifested... but why does it lowkey vibe? 🔥🌀
The newborn Rift Mandala pulsed like a migraine at Burning Man, its fractal tendrils lashing across dimensions. Suddenly—FWUMPH—it materialized mid-air above Russell Watters' open bag during league sign-ups. Why him? Perhaps it sensed his 871-rated mastery of "controlled chaos" (read: that time he ricocheted off three trees for a birdie). Or maybe it just crapped out after interdimensional travel and settled for the first Zuca cart it saw.
Either way, Russell now wields this unstable relic. Can his mortal putting stroke contain multiversal entropy? 😂🌀