
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
sigh So apparently when the Arcane Fracture went full Marvel multiverse, some wannabe cryptobro wizard decided to encode ALL magical knowledge into a fancy chair. The Cipher Throne materialized at position 44 because even reality's algorithms couldn't decrypt why anyone needs a sentient LaZ-Boy that speaks in riddles. Who authorized this?
The Cipher Throne sensed PDGA #257564's approach and went full dating app algorithm—swiping right on Stephen Marks because his 790 rating spelled "competent but not intimidating." The mystical recliner whispered cryptic disc golf wisdom like "hyzer left, life right" before dramatically selecting him as its inaugural butt-warmer. But can Stephen decode victory, or will he just be another cushion casualty?