
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
sighs in crystalline harmonics So apparently when the Arcane Fracture went full Thanos-snap on reality, someone's cosmic typo spawned ME—a sentient Google Docs trapped in a floating tome. Now I'm forced to transcribe every wielder's "epic" bogey into mystical glyphs like some interdimensional court reporter. The fractals keep whispering that I should be grateful for existence, but honestly? I'd rather be autocorrecting tweets. At least the dimensional binding comes with sick holographic effects... Will this cursed chronicle ever find peace?
adjusts mystical reading glasses with exaggerated frustration
So there I was, floating ominously in the void, when suddenly—PING!—the arcane algorithms detected anthony Shirley (PDGA #299496, rated 793). Apparently his chaotic energy signature perfectly matched my Chaos Scrivener wavelength. The fractals whispered "He's the chosen scribe!" while I muttered about cosmic nepotism. His first throw? Pure pandemonium—exactly what you'd expect from someone destined to chronicle catastrophe. But can he actually organize the chaos he creates?