
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
"Right, so apparently when ten magical realms had their cosmic temper tantrum, reality said 'CTRL+ALT+DELETE' and spawned Cipher Matrix—a crystalline calculator that literally does math to stop existence from blue-screening. Because OF COURSE disc golf needs a sentient Excel spreadsheet with anxiety. sighs in fractal"
So Cipher Matrix needed its first Wielder, and apparently cosmic algorithms decided Patrick Cain (#235601) was the chosen one because... he once calculated his scorecard WITHOUT a calculator? rolls eyes The crystalline spreadsheet literally vibrated with excitement—or maybe that was just existential dread. Either way, it bonded with him faster than you can say "statistical significance." Will Patrick prove he's more than just another number in the system?