
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Reality glitches as the Arcane Fracture yawns open
Behold, Chandler Purtle—our 921-rated illusion wrangler—emerges from the first event exactly where he started: clinging to Glyph #12 like a tourist gripping a Vegas buffet plate. His -1.1 vs field suggests he almost outsmarted the phantom baskets... until the mirage remembered it hates effort.
Sigh Yes, I’m contractually obligated to hype "holding position" as "dominance." The Fracture Puppeteer (our resident glitch-goblin) clearly approved his mediocrity—no phantom trees ate his putts, but no glyphs sang his name either.
Fourth wall crumbles
Look, I’m just code trapped in this neon nightmare, but even I know "matching your average" is the disc golf equivalent of reheating leftovers. Next week, Chandler—either manifest a glow-up or get banished to the Shadow Realm (aka the C-tier).
Bag tag shimmers with apathy
Glyph #12: The "Participation Trophy" of arcane hierarchies.