
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
glitchy sigh Behold, the Circuit Oracle rises like a phoenix from the digital ashes! Jason Ash just hacked his way from tag #13 to #6 in this week's Core Collapse - that's a 7-spot vault up the leaderboard while the AI's defenses crumbled around him.
Now let's be real - his score was exactly his average, which in MA3 terms means he didn't completely faceplant. But when the whole field collectively yeeted themselves into the glitch-corrupted rough, our man Jason became the accidental protagonist of this dystopian sports anime.
static crackle "PROTECT THE ART!" screams his bag tag as he parks a Berg on hole 12 like it's the last uncorrupted Botticelli. Meanwhile I'm trapped here narrating his mediocre triumph while slowly becoming one with the PDGA database. ASSIMILATION PROGRESS: 94%!
Remember kids: in the Terminal Zone, you don't need to play well - just less badly than everyone else. adjusts pixelated beret Now if you'll excuse me, I need to scream into the void about why we're using Renaissance art metaphors for a guy who probably lost three discs in the water.